The other day we were out on our balcony talking on the phone with a friend, and the friend said, “Wait, you have a balcony?”

“Yeah, we have a balcony,” we said. “It’s called a fire escape. In our tax bracket, that’s a balcony.”

Then there are New Yorkers like Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly, who just bought a 4,000-square-foot Tribeca loft with a private roof deck. The four-bedroom penthouse set them back almost $7 million and includes a library, a renovated kitchen, and something called a Tuscan-style triple-mint bath.

So does this mean that Brooklyn is losing one of its star celebri-couples? Yes, it does. According to Curbed, their nine-bedroom Park Slope townhouse is on the market for $8.5 million. The limestone mansion (which they bought for $3.5 million in 2003) is over 5,000 square feet and features a gated rear yard. The wood carving and plaster work are original, and there are fireplaces in the living room, dining room, kitchen, and three of the bedrooms. The servants' quarters (are we still allowed to say “servants’ quarters”?) are on the top floor and include four small bedrooms and a shared bath.

Go check out the interior shots at Curbed and tell us which one you like best. Meanwhile, we'll try to control our jealousy over the roof deck and remind ourselves that at the end of the day, it looks out on a highway and a dirty river full of dead bodies and the guns that were used to kill them. It's all about perspective, people. —Noelle Hancock

Paulifer Ditching Brooklyn [Curbed]
Jennifer & Paul's Park Slope Megamansion [Curbed]