Keith Kelly really rolls around in the news of Bonnie Fuller's "resignation" from American Media today like a puppy rolls around on a dead thing lying on the beach. He relishes her recent failure to raise the circulation of Star, quotes ex-employees talking about how much they hated her, and slaps a witch's cap on her head for good measure. Why? Because Bonnie told Keith terrible, terrible lies. "I know how this started," she said when he called her about a rumor she was leaving the company a couple of weeks ago.

"It's a terrible rumor. I have been out of the office for nearly three weeks, one week or so while my mom was sick and now she passed away and I have been sitting shiva all week. It is not true at all. I am not looking for another job and I am NOT negotiating this contract with AMI to leave. Please tell Keith if he does this while I am sitting shiva it would be terrible to me."

The dead-mother card! Amazing. But to be honest this is not really what raised Keith's hackles. In reality he is just pissed off about Star lying to him about Brad and Angelina's wedding in New Orleans and the effectiveness of the Five Factor diet. Good riddance, silver-tongued succubus!

Ding, Dong, Bonnie's Gone [NYP]