D.J.’s Andrew Andrew Shill for Roosevelt Island

Andrew Andrew.Photo: Patrick McMullan
Andrew 1: There’s a tram. You take the tram to get there. Also, like half the people there are disabled.
Andrew 2: Differently abled, yes.
Andrew 1: So there’s people on, like, gurneys with no legs. Every day I walk to the tram, to the subway, and there’s a guy with no legs on a gurney. And he says, ‘Hey! How’s it going? I’m great!’ And I can’t … it makes me feel so happy.
Andrew 2: It’s better than Prozac.
Andrew 1: I mean, he’s a friend of ours. And every morning he’s there, smoking a cigarette.
Andrew 2: In a good mood.
Andrew 1: In a great mood, with his colostomy bag hanging out. He is the best thing that’s ever happened to us.
Aw, finally the kind of celebrity endorsement Roosevelt Island really needs.
Andrew Andrew also pointed out that this week's cover image of Hillary Clinton on New York makes her look just like drag impresario and Broadway star Justin Bond. We don't really see it, but we have a photo comparison after the jump. Oh, and a particularly, um, special knock-knock joke.

Photo: Getty Images
And below, we are caught in a devastating riff:
Andrew 1: Knock knock.
New York: Who’s there?
Andrew 1: 9/11
New York: 9/11 who?
Andrew 1: You said you’d never forget.
—Bennett Marcus

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