Hey, everyone, guess what? Tonight is prom night for lots of New York high-school kids. Doesn't that sound like fun? Well, it's not, according to the Sun, which today describes New York proms as if they're John Hughes films on steroids, a night that is defined not just by the usual dresses and drinking and awkward, fumbling sex, but by harrowing class anxiety. According to the Sun, proms in New York are kind of the opposite of Cinderella transformations, a night when "the differences between private- and public-school students begin to materialize." Because high-school students aren't subjected to enough scrutiny and judgment from their peers, the Sun got several grown-ups to weigh in on the difference between the habits and behavior of private school (read: high-class) students and regular kids (read: low-class) at their senior proms.

Such as Alice Halkias, the owner of Brooklyn's Grand Prospect Hall, who relates that while hoi-polloi high-school kids are known to wear "pimp"-style outfits (long suit jackets and canes) and floor-length gowns with matching tiaras, Manhattan private-school students are a little more "high-class":

All students arrive in limousines, and all of them walk on the red carpet the Grand Prospect rolls outside its door, but Ms. Halkias said that, once they enter, students at the Packer-Collegiate School, a prestigious private academy in Brooklyn Heights that had its prom over the weekend, carry themselves differently. "They feel a little bit high-class, and they do something a little bit more," Ms. Halkias said.

Her comrade at the Waldorf concurred:

The director of social catering at the Waldorf, Alan Shukovsky, declined to comment on tonight's prom, saying he needed to respect the privacy of each client. But he said that, in general, proms at the Waldorf — there will be eight this year — carry a different air, with students dressing like "the classic gentleman or lady...It's a prom at the Waldorf," Mr. Shukovsky said. "They dress the part."

That's right, kids. You can dress yourself up in thousands of dollars of clothes and stick yourself in a limo, but you're not fooling anyone. The rich will always be better. And furthermore? That feeling you have right now will never go away. It will only get worse. Now have fun!

Private-School Prom Night: From Waldorf to Hamptons [NYS]