Madonna's Buns Are Made of Knowledge, Not Steel, Says Paltrow
6/3/08 at 5:15 PM

Gwyneth is made entirely of stem cells.Photo: Getty Images
She’s so physically beautiful and fit, it’s just crazy. I think part of the reason she looks so good is that she’s always striving for more knowledge. She’s a very interested woman.
Emphasis ours, because, otherwise, you might not notice that Gwyneth just totally gave away the secret to Hollywood hotness. Looking back now, we feel really dumb for being so oblivious. What did we think Matthew McConaughey's six-pack was made of? Or Angelina Jolie's lips? Or Demi Moore? Now we know: It's BRAINS! Damn, we should have known. We had actually noticed that on days we strive for knowledge, our calves feel a little achy and our butts get a wee bit firmer. But then we sit down and read Us Weekly, and it all turns back to flab.
Email
Print
Why Does Ruth Madoff Inspire Such Hate?

Pedro Espada's Constituency of One
NYC Prep Turns New York Into a Joke
Our Annual Guide to Summer in the City

Most Commented
Daily Intel
Last 7 Days
Vulture
Last 7 Days
Grub Street
Last 7 Days
The Cut
Last 7 Days