Melvyn Weiss, a class-action lawyer one half of firm formerly known as Milberg Weiss, was sentenced today to 30 months in prison for his role in a kickback scheme. Just in time, former Citigroup commodities trader Craig Gile, a sweet-seeming dad who spent close to a year in prison for participating in a creative accounting scheme, gives Fortune a bleak description of what life at a white-collar prison is like. Turns out not everyone gets poncho-knitting privileges: "This notion of a Club Fed is terribly inaccurate," Giles tells the magazine.

That place doesn't exist. No golf. No tennis. No lobster. No nice meals — unless you consider the bologna soup we had a couple of weeks ago a nice meal. I live in an open-air cinderblock building. Sleep in a triple-decker bunk bed. There are six toilets. Seven showers for 78 men.

Weiss will be 73 when he begins his sentence, by the way. Let's hope he gets the bottom bunk.

Trader, Father, Veteran, Convict [Fortune]
Plaintiffs' Attorney Melvyn Weiss Is Sentenced to 30 Months in Prison