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July 17, 2008

Party Lines

7/17/08

6:01 PM

Moby Demonstrates His Stealth Slut Powers to Us

Moby Josh Lucas

Moby and Josh Lucas outside the party.Photo: Kristen Somody Whalen

Over the past year, we've written a lot about Moby being a stealth slut. We were shocked that he dated Natalie Portman. He protested that men never hit on him. And he even professed to liking it when we call him a skank. But we had heretofore never seen his mystical man powers in action. That all changed last night when we went to a private Belvedere party at subMercer (we know — what are we, social?) hosted by Kiki de Montparnasse. It was part of this "Downtown Meets Uptown" thing that they've been doing there, so of course Damon Dash was huddled in a corner smoking indoors, Josh Lucas was flirting his way around the bar, and somehow Arden Wohl changed her entire outfit in the middle of the room. But anyway, the bright shining moment was when we were in a sort of side area of the subterranean lounge, near the D.J. Suddenly we realized we were in the presence of the Bodyrocker himself, seated quietly on a banquette.

And then an amazing thing happened. There were some people dancing in an open space — two well-dressed guys and two girls. They were the only people in the entire bar even remotely grooving, but it was okay because they were all gorgeous (and maybe drunk). As Moby began watching, the two guys danced back toward the wall, and then just sort of melted away. After a few moments, there were just the two Amazonian girls, both in black, completely leggy and beautiful, writhing and shimmying in front of the rock star. It was hypnotic and amazing, but we could watch for only a few moments. If things continued in the direction they were going, we surely would have witnessed something spectacular.

But it also definitely would have made us go blind — which wasn't worth it at all. So we slipped back into the other room, content in the knowledge that Moby, truly and deeply, is a maginacal* little man.

*maj-EYE-ni-cull: Having special powers of, or relating to, the female anatomy.

Early and Often

7/17/08

5:30 PM

Barack Obama Would Be a Really Bad Spy

Obama

Ahem. What's missing from this picture?Photo: Getty Images

Coverage of Barack Obama's workout routine has shifted this week from creepy to hilarious, as the candidate was spotted on Wednesday hitting the gym three times in a single day. Far be it from us to diminish the man's commendable devotion to his workout regimen, but we're not alone in thinking something else besides leg thrusts — private conversations with veep contenders, perhaps? — was drawing the busy candidate's attention from the campaign trail. ABC News reported that Obama's "multiple visits raised a few eyebrows — with even a campaign aide cracking a smile as the third gym stop of the day was announced."

The Obama campaign may think they're being very clever, but isn't this the worst cover-up story for secret meetings you could imagine? Not only is it completely implausible that Obama would work out three times in one day, but let's say somehow we bought it: Is the campaign that desperate for the meathead vote?

Read more »

Neighborhood Watch

7/17/08

4:45 PM

There’s a Sloop on the Gowanus

Flushing: The Sky View Parc condos will be near a housing project, the Van Wyck Expressway, the 7 train, the LIRR, and the smelly Flushing Creek. And it'll sit on a former brownfield. But, hey, with the creek and the East River nearby, it is waterfront property. [NYP via Curbed]
Gowanus: What is a twenty-foot sloop doing on the shore of the Gowanus Canal? A sloop is a type of sailboat, by the way. Isn't it the best word? Sloop. We could say it all day. [Sail Brooklyn]
Greenpoint: It's one thing for a chick in a blonde wig on a Vintage Schwinn to glide airily down Franklin Street amid the traffic. But when they put in that new bike lane on crazy Manhattan Avenue, between Greenpoint and Nassau? With that traffic, girlfriend would be toast! [Greenpointers]

Read more »

It Just Happened

7/17/08

4:20 PM

Peter Braunstein Sentenced to 23 Years in Ohio

Ah, the classic Braunstein Snarl. Memories…Photo: AP

It must be Christmas in July, because we've been, er, blessed with some news about our favorite media fiend, Peter Braunstein. The former writer is currently serving eighteen-to-life in New York for dressing as a firefighter and then sexually assaulting a woman on Halloween in 2005, but today he was sentenced to an additional 23 years in prison in Ohio for attacking a Cincinnati man while he was on the run. (Ohio, why you always gotta get involved in our business?)

Of course, Braunstein simply cannot emerge before an audience without dropping some serious wisdom, and like a psychopathic Santa, our man delivered the goodies.

"There was an absurdist quality to this proceeding."
Translation: Dude's a hell of a lot more lucid than we give him credit for.

"[I'll] orchestrate my own murder … It's not very hard. I've always been kind of a Hamlet character."
Translation: Peter has ambitious plans for prison-community theater.

"In my life, I had various careers and wore various hats (but) I was always trying to keep all these demons inside me caged. It just came out of the woodwork and I became a psychopath."
Translation: This all could have been prevented with a good career counselor.

"When I had freedom I had to make decisions. Do I become a criminal? Do I continue to let my rage build until I become a homicidal maniac? Do I commit suicide? In jail, I have peace."
Translation: Prison is a lot like the ashram part of Eat Pray Love.

"That place [Rikers] was some sort of a Gladiator's ring."
Translation: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
Jessica Coen

Fire fiend Peter Braunstein gets 23 years - in Ohio [NYDN]
Related: Sex and the City: The Horror Movie [NYM]

The Sports Section

7/17/08

3:40 PM

A Look Into the Crystal Baseball: Predictions for the Season

Chien Ming Wang, who could just kick himself for
his foot injury.Photo: Getty Images

Baseball’s second half begins tonight, and since yesterday was literally the most boring day on the sports calendar (Kurt-Asle Arvesen won yesterday’s Tour de France stage, if you’re interested), the local papers took the opportunity to look ahead to the season’s final couple of months. John Harper in the Daily News comes right out and hands the National League East to the Mets; Mike Vaccaro thinks they’re thisclose — while cautioning that there’s a long way to go. (We take that to mean that he totally thinks the Mets will win the division, but that he’s a little gun-shy after last season’s disastrous end.) And while it may be dangerous to make long-term predictions in the midst of a nine-game winning streak that has the Mets playing their best baseball of the year, the numbers don’t lie: According to Baseball Prospectus, the Mets have a 60 percent chance of making the postseason — higher even than the first-place Phillies.

Oh, A-Rod. »

It Just Happened

7/17/08

3:00 PM

Body Found at McCarren Pool

Photo:Getty Images

Hey, did you see the Breeders at McCarren Pool this weekend? We did. It was fun. We had no idea, however, that we were probably sharing the venue with badly decomposed body. ABC reports on the discovery that was made this morning:

Parks workers told police a foul odor had been coming from a shed at the pool for months. The workers reportedly found the body when they went to the shed to retrieve some equipment.

And we thought it was just the collective smell of stinky hipsters.*

Decomposing Body Found Near Pool [ABCNews]

*Sorry, we know, we're awful.

In Other News

7/17/08

2:15 PM

Au Revoir, New York ‘Literary’ Scene!

Photo: Courtesy of Jessica Roy

A few days ago, a post on the blog Jess and Josh Talk About Stuff caught our eye. It was written by 20-year-old Jessica Roy, an NYU student, and though it was short and vague, it indicated that the author had just recently suffered her first really demoralizing New York Media Experience. We quote:
It is, unfortunately, not enough to be honest in this city. I will not give blowjobs for bylines. I will not laugh at peoples' unfunny jokes because I want them to be impressed by me. I will not become someone else so that I can be absorbed into this elite, nefarious world where people trade intellect like currency … I am getting out of New York for awhile, from August-January … New York is not a place for serious people.

It got us thinking all of the things that had happened to us and our friends when we were younger that have could put us off writing forever. Like when a Vanity Fair editor said our friend could "make the words do the mambo, but you don't have any new ideas." Or the time an Observer editor responded to a friend's pitch by saying, "Sorry, we only do INTERESTING stories." Or just those times when we've realized: Everyone knows each other. And it's kind of awful.

Anyway, we were intrigued. What sort of terrible thing could have happened to turn this young girl so jaded that she was actually driven out of town? We asked. After the jump, Jessica tells us about her long, dark night of the soul (with Keith Gessen).

Here's what happens when young'uns go to media parties. Warning: The following is long and earnest. »

In Other News

7/17/08

1:31 PM

Devorah Rose on the Red Carpet: A Psychodrama

Today the blog Guest of a Guest has a diary entry by Devorah Rose, aspiring reality star and editor of Social Life magazine, from the Paws for Fashion event earlier this week. The party is best known for being the place we all learned that Lauren Conrad is a dog-hating diva. But yeah, Devorah was there, too. You probably don't quite know who she is — this video of her with socialblogger Emily Brill will help — but we promise you, in watching the above video post, you will see into the young woman's soul. It is a full 1:08 of her on the red carpet, holding a small dog. It is mesmerizing.

Devorah’s Diary: Paws For Style [Guest of a Guest]

In Other News

7/17/08

12:46 PM

Manhattan Theatre Club Director Fires Latest Salvo in War Between Airlines and Passengers

Lynne Meadow

Photo: Getty Images

Lynne Meadow was flying back from Rome to New York last summer when a chatty flight attendant accidentally roused her from her sleep. She quietly shushed the young man, Chris Boone, and went back to sleep. Little did the Manhattan Theatre Club executive director know, this small move was to spark a drawn-out, uncomfortable ordeal. After dealing with a different crew member over some problems with her fold-out movie monitor (must have been first class – ooh!), she eventually approached Boone again. Having mistakenly broken her TV screen, she apologetically brought the entire object (it had snapped off) to Boone. The Sun describes what happened next:
Mr. Boone, who had noticed the many requests Ms. Meadow had made to the staff during the flight, confronted her in anger when she showed him the screen, the complaint says, exclaiming: "You destroyed airline property! There is no way this could have come off by itself." Ms. Meadow claims she followed him into the galley, where he said, "From the moment you 'shushed' me during takeoff, I knew there would not be enough attendants on this plane to take care of you." Mr. Boone, she said, would not hear her explanation and told her, "The authorities will deal with you on the ground." At that, she began to cry and was comforted by other flight attendants.

Read more »

Company Town

7/17/08

12:04 PM

JPMorgan Chase Profits Fall 53 Percent

JPMorgan Chase's Jamie Dimon.Photo: Getty Images

FINANCE
• There's chink in Jamie Dimon's armor: JPMorgan Chase reported that its second-quarter profits dropped 53 percent, to about $2 billion. Yet the profit surpassed analysts' average estimate by about 10 cents per share. [DealBook/NYT]
• It's a good day for BlackRock chairman Laurence Fink: His investment firm reported that profits climbed 23 percent, to $274 million, in the second quarter. [DealBook/NYT]
• On Monday, banking stocks took one of their steepest dives since the eighties. Yesterday, however, the stocks rallied, making their biggest one-day comeback in sixteen years as the Dow Jones climbed 2.5 percent. [NYT]

Read more »

Early and Often

7/17/08

11:30 AM

Obama, Rock Star, to Embark on Risky Overseas Tour

obama

"That's right, I use Tide with bleach."Getty Images

Next week, as John McCain is stuck in boring old America talking about jobs or gas prices or some other tired issue, Barack Obama will be greeted like a rock star by throngs of awed foreigners around the globe. While the details are still vague, Obama will visit Jordan, Israel and the West Bank, Iraq, Afghanistan, Germany, France, and Great Britain on his trip, which may as well be called "Barack Obama's 'Look, I'm Presidential' Tour." The media is already musing over the trip — which could turn out to be a blessing and a curse.

But McCain is totally jealous. »

In Other News

7/17/08

11:05 AM

Why We’re Gay for Rachel Maddow

Girl crush: Rachel MaddowPhoto: WikiCommons

Air America host Rachel Maddow, who's subbed for Keith Olbermann on Countdown a few times lately, is probably going to get a show on MSNBC soon. Phil Griffin (who you may or may not remember as being an awesome hippie) who just became the president of the network, loves her, and after reading today's Times story about her, we kind of love her too. (With apologies to Chris Matthews whose job she's probably going to get. Our love is fickle — what can we say?) Below, six reasons why Rachel Maddow is our new girl crush.

Herein, we justify our love: »

In Other News

7/17/08

10:40 AM

Tatum O’Neal’s Dealer to Be Deported, Actress to Pay $96 Fine

Tatum O'Neal

O'Neal, scot-free.Photo: AP

Shortly after actress Tatum O'Neal was arrested for attempting to buy crack from a homeless man on East Broadway, she pledged to help the sometime-dealer out. Alan Garcia, 33, was "not a drug dealer," she argued. "He's a panhandler who sold drugs." She vowed to get her crack legal team on his case.

Fast-forward six weeks. Her legal team was able to get Tatum off with a $96 fine, with an agreement that she would go to two-day drug counseling sessions. She spent only a night in lockup. Garcia, on the other hand, spent all of the intervening time in Rikers. When he emerged yesterday, he was nabbed by immigration officials who will deport him.

Unfairness level? Medium high. Surprise level? Minimal.

TATUM'S DRUG MAN 'BOOTED' [NYP]

Gossipmonger

7/17/08

10:00 AM

Justin Long Rebounds With Kirsten Dunst

Photo: Getty Images

Kirsten Dunst paid a visit to the Bowery Hotel to visit Emile Hirsch, and then was "all over" Justin Long two days later. Billionaire Manhattan hotelier Patrick Denihan harassed a couple who set up shop on a public beach near his house in Bay Head, New Jersey. "We were perfectly well behaved," said the dude. "I was listening to Garrison Keillor on my iPod and my girlfriend was reading The History of the Depression." Maxim is making up for calling Sarah Jessica Parker the "Unsexiest Woman Alive" by naming her its "Unexpected Crush" in the August issue. Jimmy Kimmel told Howard Stern that his breakup with Sarah Silverman was "mutual" and that he'd "lost his best friend."

We hate that that made us feel a little sad. »

In Other News

7/17/08

9:44 AM

Ultimate Racial Obama Gaffe Comes From Unlikeliest of Places

Barack Obama Jesse Jackson

Photo: Getty Images, AP

Remember when Lou Dobbs complained about black leaders talking about race and he used the term "cotton-picking"? And when Congressman Geoff Davis referred to Barack Obama as "that boy"? And when Fox News awkwardly referred to Michelle as Barack's "baby mama"? Each time there was a media freak-out — even though the comments were relatively innocuous, or not intended in a racially charged manner. The reason? Because commentators are living in terror for the day that someone actually says the N-word on live television.

Now, it turns out, someone already has — and it was one of the last people you'd expect. Obama ally and civil-rights leader Jesse Jackson, in another segment of the Fox News tape where he said he wanted to cut the candidate's "nuts out,"* he also used the N-word. According to TVNewser yesterday (and later confirmed by Fox), Jackson said of Obama: "He's talking down to black people … telling n—s how to behave."

Now, this isn't as catastrophic as it would be had someone of another race used the charged word — but it is the moment watchdogs have been waiting for since Obama announced his candidacy. Now it's out there, in headlines connected with Obama and on all the morning talk shows. We're guessing it won't happen again, but even the most politically correct commentators are probably a little more nervous this week.

What Else Jesse Jackson Said on That Tape [TVNewser/Mediabistro]

*Why does no one ever talk about how weird this phrasing is? What, exactly, is he intending to cut them out of? Are Barack Obama's testicles secretly beating away in his chest, or something?

In Other News

7/17/08

9:20 AM

Patricia Duff to Remake ‘Legally Blonde’ in Real Life

"The rules of hair care are simple and finite."Photo: Getty Images

Yesterday, Patricia Duff, the ex-wife of Ron Perelman, announced that she'll be representing herself in court in their revived custody battle over their daughter, Caleigh, who is charging that her mother abused her. On the one hand, Duff's decision is understandable: Her divorce from Ron Perelman reportedly cost $5.2 million in legal fees. On the other hand, it's completely insane. Isn't representing yourself in court the provenance of serial killers and Law & Order characters? Also: Duff, who despite a background in politics does not have a law degree, has already hit a snag. The Daily News reports that when she attempted to file papers in court yesterday, she was rebuffed by the judge for not paying a $45 filing fee. "Ms. Duff, it's not me personally, but the court does require filing fees," the judge said. We can't wait until they're in court and Duff is all, "actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea, okay?" This is going to be so much better than the Christie Brinkley divorce case.

Related: Intel's coverage of the war for Caleigh Perelman
Scenes From a Broken Marriage [NYM]

Early and Often

7/17/08

9:00 AM

Barack Obama Brought In $52 Million Last Month

Obama Money

Photo-illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images, iStockphoto

On Monday Barack Obama campaign manager David Plouffe sent out an e-mail to supporters saying that "the McCain campaign is bragging that they are out-raising and out-spending us." It wasn't technically untrue: The McCain campaign was getting that message out there — but it turns out that in June, Obama vastly outraised his rival. Though the McCain campaign reported $22 million in fund-raising for last month, the Obama campaign just announced that its total was $52 million.

The average donation was $68 dollars, which means the total was reached by a mix of large and very small contributions. This may not mean that the financial advantage is now Obama's, however. The RNC had about $67.8 million on hand at the end of the month of June, and independent groups are sure to further muddy the waters. For an in-depth analysis of the campaigns' finance situations, check out Peter Keating's story here from yesterday.

Obama Raises $52 Million In June [Talking Points Memo]
Earlier: Obama’s Money Advantage Not Such an Advantage Anymore

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Edited by Chris Rovzar and Jessica Pressler

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