Paris Hilton's little brother, Barron, the 19-year-old who was arrested for drinking and driving in February, has a lot to learn. He showed up at Dune in Southampton over the weekend, wielding a fake I.D. Now, anybody who is an underage C-list celebrity knows that you don't show any I.D. at all when getting into a club. You hope and pray that somebody at the door recognizes who you are and realizes that you're a better option to have inside than any of the tools and tube tops who are waiting in line. You don't try to pretend to be somebody else!

Of course, this story has a happy ending. According to "Page Six," while the Hilton scion was initially turned away by reality star Kristin Cavallari (who was manning the door, violating the other C-list-celebrity rule: Don't ever let anybody see you working), he was eventually let in by a security guard. All was right then in the East End. Until Al Reynolds showed up in drag and jumped behind the D.J. booth, at least.*

BARRON'S WAY IN [NYP]
*Did not actually happen. The Hamptons have gotten so boring.