Law & Order: Special Sharpton Unit -- Daily Intel -- New York News Blog -- New York Magazine

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Yesterday, we learned that Al Sharpton is no longer being probed by federal officials (now that's an image) over tax irregularities relating to his National Action Network. But he's still under scrutiny from attorney general Andrew Cuomo, who is meeting with federal officials next week to figure out why they dropped their inquiry in favor of merely charging Sharpton for back taxes. The Reverend still owes the state $329,057 personally and hundreds of thousands more on behalf of his various organizations. This totally feels like a Law & Order episode, where the crook thinks he's getting off by making a deal, but, in the last ten minutes, the D.A.'s pull a fast one and another agency comes in and busts the bad guys. Not that Sharpton is necessarily bad, but we do like our TV metaphors. Which makes us realize: Since Al Sharpton himself has appeared on the show, why don't we cast this as a Law & Order episode? With certain transparent changes, of course.

The Crime: A dead body is found in a hotel elevator by two tourists wearing matching American-flag sweaters. Turns out it's a wealthy young female philanthropist, who supports a controversial activist rabbi.
The Cast: The Reverend Al Sharpton as Rabbi Moishe Feldman, Steve Guttenberg as Andrew Cuomo, Tovah Feldshuh as attorney Danielle Malnick, and Leven Rambin as the corpse.
Briscoe Memorial Zinger: [At the station house, booking suspects] "I think we've just rounded up all the Jews fit to print!"
The Verdict: Rabbi Feldman is judged not guilty of the murder of the pretty socialite, who prosecutors say was about to go public about his extortion practices after Feldman threatened to end the affair going on between the two of them.
The Surprise Final Twist: But the Feds swoop in and charge him for massive tax fraud. Then, on the courthouse steps as he is led away by FBI officers, he is gunned down by the deceased's enraged rich-kid boyfriend, played by Jared Kushner.

STATE TO GET ITS $HOT AT REV. AL [NYP]