The Times today has a lengthy story about how Leona Helmsley directed her $5 billion to $8 billion dollar trust, which she left to charity after she died, to be spent on "the care and welfare of dogs." The news comes from two anonymous sources who have seen the "mission statement" of the estate. You'll recall Helmsley also left $12 million to her dog, Trouble, when she died last year. While it took the Times 1,000 words to tell this story, it only took the Post 65, which were mostly devoted to constructing the following joke:

She herself was frequently described as one — which may be why Leona Helmsley ordered that her charitable trust donate all its billions to bitches.

See how they did that? They didn't technically call her a bitch, they called dogs bitches. Complicated! Let it be known being bitchy about bitches is really a bitch.

RICH BITCH OF A DONATION [NYP]