Sure, it's fun to watch all the celebs shop at the Super Saturday benefit. But there's also important news in the Hamptons! Such as this: After the arrest of an East Hampton gallery owner early in the summer for serving wine without a license, the police haven't let up on business owners here for minor infractions: "They're constantly circling," said another gallerist. "They just hunt and hunt and hunt." Some are even "whispering" of martial law! And an old windmill symbolizes efforts by the new SUNY in Southampton to be totally ecofriendly. Meanwhile, Molly Sims was three hours late for a party celebrating her mug on the cover of the latest Hamptons magazine; she may have been dawdling over dinner with her family in Montauk!

An exhibition at the Parrish Art Museum right now is all about the beach. (Random! Inappropriate!) Hung-over and partied-out? That's the perfect time to screen a Darfur documentary at the Jewish Center of the Hamptons! The Southampton cop who told Christie Brinkley her husband was having an affair now claims that he was ordered to repeatedly Taser a man who later died.

Sex and the City man-blond Jason Lewis releases the pressure of playing Samantha's boyfriend by running on the beach here early in the morn. Did Hamptons publishing guru Dan Rattiner really break every rule possible on the beaches here, or is he just being his usual cheeky satirical self? And should Howard Schultz convert two out of seven Starbucks into takeout-only joints, instead of closing them altogether?

Planners really want the average villager to be involved in the redo of Southampton's downtown. A boy who grew up with a keen awareness of the importance of having a different Betsey Johnson dress for every bar mitzvah actually got to meet Betsey this weekend in East Hampton. And most important: Who or what is killing all the scarecrows out here?