We're still peering through our fingers at the details trickling out of the Brinkley-Cook divorce trial, the tawdry first round of which was completed yesterday and was characterized by exchanges such as this one:

"Is it correct, sir, that you have masturbated in front of a Web cam?" his lawyer, Mark Winkler, asked.

(Yes, of course, he has to be called Winkler)

Red-faced, Cook replied: "Yes, I have, privately, secretly."

Only on the Internet, Your Honor. Everyone knows you don't get more private than that.

It also came out that Cook met Diana Bianchi, his 18-year-old — 18½-year-old — assistant with whom he had an affair, when she was only 15. And, um, working at a toy store. He hired her three years later at his architecture firm, despite the fact that she didn't have any experience.

Bianchi couldn't recall what she did, exactly, or how much she was compensated.…Bianchi said she was paid "anywhere from $20 to $50 an hour, depending on how much I got done."

Oh, the humantity. Cook's "fitness model" ex, Carri Lyn Ciamarra, as well as, reportedly, other women with whom he's had flings, are also due to testify this month, so there's even more where that came from. Will our souls survive?

Teen Lover Cooks Cad Peter [NYP]
Christy's Ex Porn Identity [NYP]
Related: 'Hey There, I'm a Horny Dude, Spare Me the Philosophy and 'Eff' Me'