In the first installment of his new advice column on the Huffington Post, Jonathan Adler answers queries from a "Sebastian" who intends to begin collecting photography "once my hedge fund delivers" (good luck with that, dude) and an Upper West Side married couple whose vision for her apartment includes ostrich feathers and velvet, much to her husband's dismay. "I like color and glamour," Kate complains. "He is very beige and boring." Adler's advice:

We have a saying in my company: The wife is always right unless the husband is gay. This is an excellent saying and questioning your husband's sexuality is a great way to get him to shut up. Assuming that this is not the case and your husband is straight (is he?), you simply have no recourse other than to eliminate him from the process. Take into account some of his functional needs, and then ignore everything else.

We find this to be very sound advice in general, but if we were Kate we might be disturbed. After all, aren't the men whose wives describe them as "beige and boring" the ones you tend to see late night at the Eagle?

Ask Jonathan Adler [HuffPo]