This weekend, nature and rudeness reigned in the Hamptons, per usual. Strong rip currents have forced these hot East Hampton lifeguards to perform more than 250 rescues this summer. Julianne Moore stayed classy and polite as the ticket taker for the Jitney told her there was no room for her, despite her reservation, then loudly spelled out her name for all to hear. At the new, Zabar-owned farmer's market in Amagansett, a woman yelled at a sweet young cashier for allegedly overpricing her cucumbers.

Nina Garcia lets all of this roll off her back. She comes to the Hamptons to decompress, she says, and she really shuns the social scene. "For me, the Hamptons are all about being in my bathing suit all day and barbecuing with my family," she says, adding that most weekends she stays in, entertaining such friends as Tinsley and Minnie Mortimer and Marjorie Gubelmann.

Also shunning the social scene this weekend, but in a different way, was Gwyneth Paltrow, who looked peeved to be photographed at a benefit for a horse-rescue farm. Dina and Ali Lohan went to see the Jonas Brothers at the Ross School, then to a polo match in Bridgehampton. Little Jack and Sailor caught the Jonas Brothers concert for the Ross School because their freshly divorced mom and dad, Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook, managed "a quiet handoff" of the kids at the show.

A corrections officer who moonlighted as a bouncer at Southampton's Publick House is dead after being strangled for at least a minute by a patron there, making for the first murder in Southampton in twenty years.

Meanwhile, at a benefit for the East Hampton library, architect Robert A.M. Stern signed copies of his book for people whose houses he'd designed. Paris Hilton's clip talking back to John McCain for putting her in an anti-Obama ad was supposedly shot in the Hamptons, then sent to Hilton in Denmark for final approval. People like Jay McInerney and Peggy Siegal went to the Southampton opening of Bottle Shock, starring Alan Rickman and Bill Pullman, about the California vineyard scene in the seventies. And when John McCain had lunch here a few weeks ago with U.S. Representative Eric Cantor from Virginia, they may have been discussing Cantor as a potential running mate. Southampton fire and police forces shut down a Brazilian and African drumming circle on a beach here that may have drawn up to 1,500 dancers. Finally: Why are there more rabbits than usual out here? Duh, because there are fewer foxes!