While most of the Hamptons-related news is about the goings-on of Gossip Girl's make-believe pretty, privileged people, the area's real-life pretty, privileged people had their last big summer holiday weekend. How psyched are we for them? First of all, Billy Joel and wife Katie Lee threw a barbecue blowout at their new Sagaponack spread, where Katie Lee showed Ivanka Trump how to guzzle beer through a funnel. (Love that image.) Also, Joel and ex-wife Christie Brinkley gushed over their daughter, Alexa, who sang at the benefit to fight development in Sag Harbor. Brewery heiress Daphne Guinness wore a hooker-type outfit to the Hampton Classic horse show in Bridgehampton, causing a scandal. Naomi Campbell also attended the horse show, as did Mayor Bloomberg, who was there to watch his daughter Georgina compete. But she lost to Lou Dobbs's daughter, Hillary, whose Mexican horse was in the country illegally. (Hahaha, we made that Mexican illegal part up. She really did win.)

Meanwhile, an unidentified, twentysomething couple are putting on a traveling public sex show in area parks.

North Haven is stunned over news of the 100-year-old matriarch who was just mysteriously shot to death while sitting in her home. (The woman's 76-year-old daughter, who once ran for mayor, is being questioned.)

Now back to fluff news! At the Taste of Evian polo party, Hugh Grant, 48, seemed completely in love with his new 27-year-old fashion-designer girlfriend. In East Hampton, the fire department put on its 51st annual fireworks show. Paris Hilton and MySpace boss Chris DeWolfe were seen hanging out around here, throwing doubt on Hilton's relationship with rocker Benji Madden. While walking to the beach with husband Lou Reed, Laurie Anderson talks by phone to an obnoxious reporter about the upcoming recording of her new concert, Homeland.

In Westhampton, an invite from an Episcopal church for a rabbi to discuss the controversial eruv his Orthodox synagogue wants to demarcate (it's a special area where you can do things on Sabbath you otherwise can't) has been postponed for fear the event would become the unruly free-for-all that a meeting on the topic a few weeks ago did. In July and August, more than $13,000 in booze was stolen from Montauk's head-achingly trendy Surf Lodge. Rufus Wainwright chatted with the local press before performing at a benefit Saturday for the Watermill Center. And going back to Surf Lodge, here's the video from the birthday bash of that fey Euro guy Luigi Tadini, if you can bear it. Good-bye, Hamptons … here comes another winter in a summer town. Sigh.