Leona Helmsley's will originally instructed $8 billion to go to helping dogs and poor children — then she cut out the children part. Robert De Niro's daughter Drena couldn't get into the premiere of his film because security didn't believe she really was his daughter, so she went to Nobu instead. Strippers at the Penthouse Club aren't making any money since the market crashed.

Cindy Adams goes bonkers with the Britishisms (Oy! Blimey! Spot of bother!) talking about Prince Harry and Will's girlfriends, then scolds both McCain and Obama. Democrat turned McCain-campaigner Lynn Forester de Rothschild blew off dinner with Tony Blair for Greta Van Susteren. Rudy Giuliani's daughter Caroline is getting straight A's at Harvard. Lindsay Lohan drank Shirley Temples at an Ugly Betty party.

Martha Stewart fired her hairstylist, Eva Scrivo, because Eva raised the price on blonde hair dye, pancake makeup, and eyeliner. Graydon Carter and hotelier Jeff Klein's Monkey Bar is going to be very big because all the right people are involved. Scarlett Johansson told a doorman at the Lower East Side's National Underground, when he wanted to take a picture of her, that she wasn't the Statue of Liberty. (But she "holds a torch" for fiancé Ryan Reynolds...ha-ha-ha, GET IT?) Lee Strasberg widow Anna is fighting over rights to the famous photo of Marilyn over a subway grate with the family of the guy who took the photo.

Michael Phelps will, for an animal-care charity, auction off the chance to spend time in the pool with his hot body and unique face. A producer says that being Republican in Hollywood is so rare and secret that "it's the new gay." Mariah Carey plays a Harlem social worker in the gritty upcoming movie Push, and is also making a movie based on her megahit Christmas album. A blown tire may have caused the plane crash that seriously injured blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and celeb DJ AM but killed four others.