We thought we already knew everything there was to know about what the Rich family was up to this summer. But we didn't know that Simon Rich, the youngest and most spectacular of the clan, was quietly working on a novel! From Publisher's Lunch:

ANT FARM and FREE RANGE CHICKENS author, and SNL writer Simon Rich's first novel, ELLIOT ALLAGASH, a coming-of-age comedy about "obscene wealth, megalomania and vengeance," to Jonathan Jao at Random House, by Daniel Greenberg at Levine Greenberg Literary Agency (world English).

Okay. There are plenty of untalented people out there who fall into literary success, and when that happens we can thankfully fall back on our natural bitterness to write about it. But we like Simon Rich. We think he's funny. So we are completely at a loss as to how to react to this news that he's been able to accomplish more in one summer (start a celeb-studded Internet TV series, publish a hardcover book of essays, and now write and sell a novel) than we have in our entire lives.

If we can't react to this situation with bitterness, our only other option is obviously to try to have sex with him. Simon, call us! We're only a few years older than you! (Shudder.)

Publisher's Lunch [Subscription only]