We forget: Was it funny or terrible when Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband's penis? Both, right? Which means it should definitely be okay to laugh at the story in today's Post, about a woman who tried to hire a hit man to break her husband's nose. Mariliza Cotoulas of Queens, described by the paper as a "Brazilian dancer," was incensed enough at her husband — "bodybuilder" Vassili — that she approached an old friend about taking out his nose. It would have been a symbolic gesture, her friend later told police, because Vassili had recently had his nose done. "She wanted to break his nose because his appearance mattered so much to him," said the friend. For his part, Vassili admitted in court records that he'd had plastic surgery, but stipulated that it was for a "pre-existing injury" and not because he wanted a pert little ski jump. We couldn't find a picture of him to judge for ourselves, which is why we've posted a photo of another guy that has nothing to do with anything. Honest!

'HIT PLOT' VS. HUBBY 'S NOSE [NYP]

Earlier: Brooklyn Man Hires Hit Man To Cut Off Wife's Hand With Samurai Sword