This one at least gets an A for effort.Photo: an email forward.
Last week Jon Stewart addressed the issue of whether Obama and McCain were giving enough material to comedians. He argued that, while the two candidates aren’t hilarious on their own, it is the media and other politicians who are having trouble drawing the line between what should be taken seriously and what should be made light of. Well, now that we’ve got a former-beauty-pageant-contestant vice-presidential candidate who was a small-town mayor three years ago, and who has a pregnant, unmarried 17-year-old daughter, do we all know what’s funny? Mmm, not quite. Below are some of the jokes we’ve seen about Sarah Palin over the last three days, divided into things that made us laugh and things that made us cringe.
As Hilarious As Imagining Amy Poehler and Kristen Wiig’s Auditions to Play Palin on Saturday Night Live
• “There was also some breaking news out of Dayton, Ohio, today where this morning Republican presidential candidate John McCain introduced the world to his third wife — actually, no, I’m sorry, that’s his running mate Sarah Palin, the freshman governor of Alaska, and star and producer of Emmy-winning 30 Rock. No, I apologize, the star of the Emmy-winning Will & Grace. No, no, I’m sorry, it’s actually the mild-mannered and troubled librarian from every Cinemax movie.” —Jon Stewart
• “John McCain’s V.P. pick is the governor of Alaska, a unknown hockey mom named Sarah Palin that no one ever heard of. The only other job she had in politics was the mayor of a small town known as Wasilla, Alaska, and now she has the opportunity to be on a ticket opposite of Barack Obama, the first black man she’s ever seen.” —Bill Maher
• “She does know about international relations because she is right up there in Alaska, right next-door to Russia.” — Fox News’ Steve Doocy “When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.” —Jon Stewart
• “GRAN ‘OL PARTY” —Today’s Daily News cover
• “She’s not bad-looking. She looks like one of those women in the Van Halen videos who takes off her glasses, shakes out her hair, and then all of a sudden, she’s in high heels and a bikini. All of a sudden, I am FOR drilling in Alaska.” —Jimmy Kimmel
• (Interior-Day)
McCain (getting in Palin’s face) “Who’s the girl?”
Palin “She’s my
daughter!”
McCain (slaps her)
Palin “She’s my sister!”
McCain (slaps her)
Palin “She’s my daughter … “
McCain (slaps her)
Palin (cont.) AND my SISTER!” —Gawker Commenter tillzen
• If only for the accent:
—Sarah Benincasa
• “I think this is pertinent because McCain has been running this campaign based on ‘we’re at war, it’s a dangerous world out there. The Democrats don’t get that. I, John McCain, am the only one standing between the bloodthirsty Al Qaedas and you. But if I die, this stewardess can handle it.’” —Bill Maher
About As Laughable As a Punchline That Relies on the Word “Retard”
• “Palin and McCain are a good pair. She’s pro-life and he’s clinging to life.” —Jay Leno
• “Does any of you have the phone number for Lynne Spears? I totally think we are going to be BFFs :)” —From the fake Sarah Palin blog
• “Are you kidding me, the mayor of Wasilla, Alaska? Yeah, that’s who you want in the White House during a time of crisis. When she got a phone call at 3 in the morning, it was because a moose had gotten in the garbage can.” —Bill Maher
• “It’s the vice presidential debate. The moment Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin mentions Hillary, Joe Biden does a Lloyd Bentsen: ‘I know Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton is a friend of mine, and Governor, you’re no Hillary Clinton.’ But here’s Palin’s drop-dead reply: ‘Senator, I know your running mate, Barack Obama. And he’s no Hillary Clinton either.’” —Margery Eagan
• “Actually, it was kind of a smart choice. McCain went with a woman because he didn’t want to have to be in a position to have to get CPR from Mitt Romney.” —Jay Leno
• “She has unwittingly and literally become the poster child for her mother’s anti-choice and abstinence-only education policies.” —Bonnie Fuller
• “There’s a gigantic difference between John McCain and Barack Obama and between me and I suspect my vice presidential opponent. She’s good-looking.” —Joe Biden
• “Wonkette Pregnancy Expert Sara K. Smith decrees that these whispers about Sarah Palin not being that baby’s mama are absurd, because everybody knows John Edwards is the mother of that baby.” —Wonkette Pregnancy Expert Sara K. Smith
• “Five kids? Does anyone in that party understand the concept of pulling out?” —Bill Maher
Related: Levi Johnston and Fat Girlfriend Arrive in St. Paul [NYM]
Levi ‘Sex on Skates’ Johnston Is Already in St. Paul for Republican Convention [NYM]
Defending Sarah Palin: Ross Douthat and Jonah Goldberg on McCain’s V.P. Pick as Culture-War Hand Grenade [NYM]
We’re Sorry, But Palin Baby Daddy Levi Johnston Is Sex on Skates [NYM]
Sarah Palin Is Just Full of Surprises [NYM]
Earlier: Jon Stewart: It’s Not McCain and Obama’s Lack of Humor, It’s the Media’s
