Wait a second: Is it really possible that Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer hooked up in New York last week and not a single member of the East Coast–based gossip mafia noticed?* "Jennifer was in New York doing some shopping before she starts promotional work for her new movies, He’s Just Not That Into You and Marley And Me," a source tells the Enquirer, which everyone knows only prints FACTS. "John was relaxing after finishing his international tour, and they hooked up. After spending time together under the radar in New York, they flew to Los Angeles together and looked every bit the couple they once were." Johnson! Rush! Molloy! Min! Get in our offices right this minute! [National Enquirer]

*UPDATE: We should have known better. Nothing escapes the eye of Page Six. But the rest of you should be ashamed of yourselves.