Here at Daily Intel, we have a very healthy appetite for all reality-based television (The Rachel Zoe Project, Survivor, Meet the Press...). But for some reason, we never thought that VH1 show The Pick-Up Artist fell into that category. Whenever we tried to watch it, all we could think to ourselves was, "Really?" And we don't even do that during the Hills when they do that thing where they dub in dialogue that the characters obviously aren't actually saying, like in those pet-food commercials when the kittens have a party in the house while the owners are away. But a year or so after the phenomenon took hold, the Post tested out Mystery's strategies, and according to boyporter Justin Rocket Silverman, they work. Kind of. Silverman took a class with Love Systems, a pickup-training organization (originally started by Mystery but no longer run by him — the whole boring story is here) that teaches classes to men who think that love can be found in places like the Park. Here are the things we've learned from Silverman's article:

• "You can't logic a woman into bed with words," says Nick Savoy, the L.A.-based president of Love Systems. "The important conversation is the physical conversation."
• It's possible to explain your "grabbing and squeezing" as merely the actions of "a swell guy who can't keep his hands to himself."
• Having a wingman lie about how great you are is a surefire strategy.
• A kiss on the lips after mere moments of conversation is called "physical escalation."
• Post reporters are willing to document their own perviness as long as it's for a good story.

A 'BOOTY' CAMP FOR WANNABE PLAYERS [NYP]