Remember when your mom shouted you down from the 30-foot diving board when you were 6, and you thought she was being a drama queen because you were wearing those blow-up doughnuts on your arms? Such was the "surprise and disappointment" registered by stuntman Jeb Corliss when he was convicted yesterday of reckless endangerment for trying to parachute off the top of the Empire State Building's 86th-floor deck in 2006: "Mr. Corliss testified in State Supreme Court in Manhattan about his expertise and the safety measures he had taken to prepare for the jump." In other words, security guys who stopped him, you are so lame. [NYT]