"I promote clubs at night and work at Merrill Lynch during the day, but my dream is to one day sell carpets. I use Facebook because I cant afford eHarmony. I am Russian, but I like to take it slow. I recently broke up with Jessica Alba because i did not like the way she tied her shoes so I am single now. I like to go to clubs and express myself through the art of dance. I am warning you, I am extremely friendly and nice, so watch out. Hit me up if you like fun, I like fun." He is probably fake, but that doesn't mean we can't hope he's real. [Facebook via Guest of a Guest]