The vintage store Urban Alchemist in Park Slope has this thing going where people can post their deep, dark secrets in signs in the window, and usually, they are not very deep or dark. "I have a crush on Joey Fatone," reads one. "I voted for McCain," reads another. Shocking! But apparently one person, a low-level Soho gallery worker, wrote that he peed in the bosses' Snapple bottles while they were away and then watched them drink them upon their return! Thank goodness there are at least a few really twisted psyches in the Slope. [Brooklyn Paper]