ballsy crime

Report: R. Allen Stanford Found

NBC has reported that suspected fraudster R. Allen Stanford has been found in Virginia by the FBI, but apparently despite the fact he has been charged with a “massive” fraud, he was only served with papers and is not in custody. What? More after the commercial break, we guess. Thanks, NBC.
Stanford Found by U.S. Authorities in Virginia (Update1) [Bloomberg]

UPDATE: As a commenter pointed out, Stanford wasn’t arrested because the case against him is civil, not criminal, which … is still weird. Isn’t he supposed to be the NEXT MADOFF? Also, according to a Bloomberg source, he was with “a girlfriend” when he was picked up. Which caused us to picture the following scene…

Police cars, surrounding a Fredericksburg McMansion. Inside, a trio of rookie FBI officers, guns drawn, wearing bulletproof vests, beckon each other toward the closed door of a bedroom, from which comes the sounds of muffled laughter and a woman’s voice saying, “Oh, Stannie.” The rookies surround door and nod at one another. Then, on the count of three, Rookie One kicks open the door. The camera flashes inside: We see a canopy bed with flouncy white linens in the background, on which reclines a woman with large, Dolly Parton–in–Nine to Five hair. She sits up and gasps, clutching the sheets to her sizable chest.

And in the foreground: cowboy boots, attached to hairy, sunburned legs. The camera pans up the legs slowly, slowly, from behind, and we see that the man wearing the cowboy boots is wearing a ten-gallon hat, and nothing else. Through his legs we see the shocked face of Rookie One: “Oh, man,” he says, and covering his eyes, extends his hand, which is holding a manila folder full of papers.

The camera flashes back to a close-up on Stanford’s face. He is chomping a cigar and grinning. “Well howdy, partner,” he says.

Report: R. Allen Stanford Found