Darryl Strawberry wrote a book about what dogs the Mets were in the eighties. They were constantly doing drugs and having sex all night, proving yet again that baseball is the only professional sport you can effectively play hung-over. Salma Hayek breast-fed another woman's baby in Sierra Leone. Jimmy Fallon wants to be the "voice of America." Jose Canseco's publicists are in overdrive now that 'roids are cool again. Sarah Jessica Parker has weird boots that make her feet look like hooves. The Guggenheim wasn't actually destroyed in the movie The International. And Cindy Adams gets in on the (really tasteless, we think) game of blaming Rihanna for her relationship problems with Chris Brown.

Fancy-pants restaurant La Goulue is closing. Sharon Stone molested Slumdog star Dev Patel and he liked it. "Page Six" did that awesome thing again where they call out a publicist (this time Rihanna's rep, Amanda Silverman) for being a big liar. Leonardo DiCaprio is friends with Mikhail Gorbachev. Beyoncé's dad didn't watch the Grammys. Jessica Simpson is still dating Tony Romo. Chris Evans hit on Gabrielle Union, but she wasn't into it. Marisa Tomei isn't that big a fan of marriage "as an institution."