The captive American captain of the Maersk Alabama is still very much alive this morning and very probably thinking of an awesome way to escape the Somali pirates who tried (and failed) to hijack his ship. This is no easy task, considering the USS Bainbridge, a guided-missile destroyer, is on the scene monitoring the situation from a safe distance and just waiting to annihilate everybody if something goes wrong. The military has also called in FBI hostage negotiators to tackle the tricky situation. Also, worryingly, other pirate-controlled tankers are approaching the area, causing the U.S. to fret that the Alabama's attempted hijackers will be able to escape in the fray. At the moment, the villains are trapped on the lifeboat they stole from the ship, because its small motor ran out of gas. All parties are drifting about 200 miles off the Somali coast. America, at first anxious for this diversion and now a little worried that pirates might become yet another thing we have to actually be afraid of again, waits for resolution with bated breath.

Earlier: Somali Pirates Have Taken Captain Hostage
Somali Pirates Hijack Ship Full of Americans (Updated!)