We were surprised when we came across New Yorker film critic and Snark author David Denby's description of Russell Crowe in his recent review of State of Play.

Russell Crowe’s body is shapeless now, his complexion pasty, his hair long and lank; he looks like a dumpling in a wig.

A dumpling in a wig! we said to ourselves. That's a harsh, not to mention snarky thing for the General in the War Against Snark to say. So of course we got all ready to rip the old codger a new one on our Internet blog for being such a hypocrite. But then, at the last minute, we realized: Rather than act like reflexively mean-spirited, bottom-feeding bloggers, as is our wont, maybe we should make like the old school and do some reporting. Quickly, we had resident Photoshop genius Everett Bogue whip up a picture of a dumpling wearing a wig, which we took into the Daily Intel Situation Room for careful study and observation.

There, our suspicions were confirmed: Russell Crowe does, in fact, resemble a dumpling in a wig. More specifically, a pork bun — but overall we have to concede defeat. We should have known. Nothing gets by those New Yorker fact-checkers. They probably did the exact same thing.

Extra! Extra! [NYer]