Last night on The Daily Show, Samantha Bee interviewed some of the "best and brightest" of Long Island, three gentlemen who would like to see Long Island "succeeded" from New York, whatever it takes. "Long Island's packing some serious balls," boasted one."We could beat up any state you got." Like which ones? Bee asks.

Guy: Ireland.
Bee: States.
Guy: Oh right, states! I feel like a retard now. Staten Island.
Bee: No, other states.
Guy: Canada.
Friend: Europe, right?

Finally, they get it: Jersey! "Jersey would be the first to go." Watch the Jäger-bomb–fueled genius here.