'Tis the season to be swanning about the Hamptons! But just in case you're not, here's our weekly wrap-up of what you're missing.

Rumor had it that Lindsay Lohan would be hitting up AXE Lounge (a.k.a. Dune) over the weekend, but her father ducked out of a Lily Pond Lane luncheon early on Saturday, saying he had to catch a flight to visit LiLo in L.A. A plant thief is running rampant in Quogue. Two cases of swine flu have been confirmed in Sag Harbor schools. Billy Joel showed off his motorcycle collection to "motorcycle aficionados" like Rob Schneider and Twisted Sister bassist Mike Mendoza at the Christy's Art Center in Sag Harbor. Jimmy Buffett is keeping his surfboard at the Montauk Yacht Club Surf Shack for the summer. Renée Zellweger perused Hermès in East Hampton. Southampton police were called to Madame Tong's to resolve (another) dispute between restaurateur Ed "Jean Luc" Kleefield, who was arrested in April for writing $300,000 in bad checks, and his financier Lyle Pike.