Thomas Prusik Parkin has been indicted on 47 counts of grand larceny, forgery, and conspiracy for dressing up as his dead mother — wig, dress, nail polish, and all — to collect $1 million in benefits and loans. He also kept a coffin in his living room, for some unknown reason. But his greatest offense is spoiling Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 masterpiece Psycho for anyone who hasn't seen it yet and who has read a newspaper or watched local news in the past day, since every report inevitably compares him to Norman Bates. The money can be returned, but that plot twist ... that's gone forever. [NYDN]