For some reason, the usually staid Bloomberg news service today had Dog the Bounty Hunter weigh in on why white-collar criminals like Marcus Schrenker and Samuel Israel managed to flamboyantly screw up the faux suicides they had planned in order to evade the law. You see, Dog explains, just because these men are book smart, it doesn’t mean they are street smart. By which he means: They’re a little bit pansies.

“There are different qualities in white-collar guys than in street thugs,” Chapman said. “A criminal’s life has nothing but ups and downs, whereas a white-collar criminal has never seen the dark side, so when he enters that realm, he is lost.”

Probably some newsfolk would grumble that using a reality TV star as a source in a business story is cheesy and that the news service has taken a dangerous step closer to the dreaded “infotainment” category. But personally, we think it’s a brilliant merging of our national interests and would like to suggest that they next gauge Real Housewife of New Jersey and convicted felon Danielle Staub’s opinion on whether Ruth Madoff was in on her husband’s scheme, and then have Celebrity Rehab’s Dr. Drew weigh in on Larry Summers’ tendency to nod off during meetings. It’s about time we had some real perspective on this stuff.

White-Collar Fugitives Tripped Up by Bad Planning, Weakness [Bloomberg]