The story of South Carolina governor Mark Sanford's affair has not, obviously, unfolded like other political sex scandals. From his first epic, tearful press conference to the touchingly goofy e-mails between him and Maria Chapur to his recent declaration that "I will be able to die knowing that I had met my soul mate," the whole thing has just been so freaking romantic. It's like a chick flick, and despite the fact that our hero is not someone we can personally ever imagine having sex with (ever), we can't help it: We want our Hollywood ending.

And we're not the only ones.

The rainclouds that have been systematically dampening your hair and your spirits so far this summer have a silver lining after all: It turns out that you're much less likely to get murdered in the city during the summer if it's raining! According to the Times, when there is an inch or more of rain in the city in the summertime, an average of three fewer people are murdered every ten days. Saturdays, traditionally the most murderous days in this town, see a decline of 25 percent in killings if it's raining. And so far this summer has been the second wettest on record.

So, hooray! Though we realize now we've given you an entirely new set of worries for when it's actually sunny — not to mention hot — this year.

In New York City, Fewer Murders on Rainy Days [NYT]

After the indignity of of being laid off from their high-paying jobs as masters of the universe, many bankers are flocking to Argentina, where a favorable exchange rate and low-cost recreational drugs set the bar for superhero status relatively low. However, some of these underemployed gents seem to be taking their identities a little too seriously:

Mat and his crew — which included two Aussie i-bankers, Duncan and Dan — took the games to a new level with the "­Olympics," which involved various Herculean feats with girls at bars: remove an item of her clothing in a bar; make out with a girl without uttering a word, in a bar. Others, who shall remain nameless, assumed superhero identities: Batman would point a flashlight at a lucky lady, illuminating her shadow against the wall before the romance ensued; Spider-Man would jerk off in his hand and cast out his progeny in a fashion similar to the way his namesake unleashes his web.

We'd say they sound like they're regressing, but that would imply there was a bit previously where they'd grown up.

Raging Bulls [Playboy]

Back in 2004, an SEC lawyer with the whimsical name of Genevievette Walker-Lightfoot raised questions to her boss, Mark Donohue, and his supervisor, Eric Swanson, about the unusual trading patterns and strategies of one Bernie Madoff. "Concentrate on mutual funds for the time being," they told her, and requested she turn over her research, which they packed up and put in cold storage. In 2007, Eric Swanson married Shana Madoff, Bernie's niece. Probably just a coincidence.

Staffer at SEC Had Warned Of Madoff [WP]

Residents of the West Side of Manhattan, particularly in midtown, are gearing up to watch the Macy's fireworks display from their apartments for the first time since 2000. According to the Times, this has caused countless changes in July 4 plans for people with terraces and roof access — and the view-rich High Line Park has been closed to avoid any overcrowding (or collapse!) potential. But there is an unforeseen side effect, too: New Jersey, instead of Brooklyn and Queens, also gets to watch our fireworks — for free! What do we think of this?

Related: Read our rundown of where to watch the 'works on friendly shores.

The fragrance being pumped out of Diane Von Furstenberg's meatpacking-district store is too strong for angry passersby, who describe it as "putrid" and "awful." Tinsley Mortimer allegedly likes a guy with a castle more than her husband, Topper. Bradley Cooper and Renée Zellweger had dinner Tuesday night, where Bradley reached across the table to touch Renée and they drank from the same cup of tea. Also, he pulled her chair out for her. The two were then overheard saying things that implied they would see each other later that night. How many people at this restaurant exactly do you think called gossip columns after this meal?

Second-quarter reports for Manhattan’s residential real-estate market are out today and here are the findings: It’s been a pretty brutal spring for sellers and brokers. Sales were down significantly from April to June of this year compared to the same period last year, and prices slumped. Some highlights (or, rather, lowlights):

• Closings tumbled as much as 60 percent, according to the Corcoran Group.
• Median prices for resales and new developments also sunk, per Jonathan Miller’s Prudential Douglas Elliman report. Existing apartments commanded a median price of $725,000, down from $975,000 in 2008. New condos fell from $1,145,531 to $1,069,162.
• Average prices took a hit, too: Brown Harris Stevens saw co-ops take a 24 percent hit this quarter over last year, with prices down to $1,263,471 from $1,663,533.
• It took much longer — 162 days versus 135 days — to find buyers, says Miller.

The State Senate — particularly the Democratic faction, who resent the public and financial support Mayor Bloomberg has given Republican candidates in the past — willfully allowed the deadline to renew mayoral control of the city's schools to pass on Tuesday without a vote or even a mention. This seemed like a doomsday scenario for summer-school programming, but the mayor stepped up to maintain the chain of command almost immediately. On Wednesday the Board of Education was reconstituted (with seven members, one appointed by each borough president and two by Bloomberg himself) and met for a nine-minute session, wherein they voted to retain Joel Klein as schools chancellor, and to disband themselves for good if and when the State Senate (ever) passes mayoral control for real.