We're not even talking about the Wall Street titans he tweaked in his role as attorney general or political rivals such as Andrew Cuomo and his former lieutenant governor David Paterson — though obviously, if Spitzer ran for governor, as rumored, they would be pretty pissed. We're talking, of course, about the one person whose opinion really matters, Ashley Dupré, the most famous of several prostitutes who had sex with the former governor for money and is therefore uniquely capable of weighing in on Spitzer's political future and the exact position of his moral compass, and furthermore looks a hell of a lot better in a bikini in the pages of the Post than Andrew Cuomo would. How would she feel about a revivified Spitzer? Not good, the former Emperors Club employee's spokeswoman and chief MILF, Carolyn Capalbo, told the Post, going on to deliver the searing indictment that would become the paper's cover line.

"Only in America," Ashley Dupré's mom, Carolyn Capalbo, told The Post. "I really can't blame him, but at the same time, my daughter's having a rough go," she said at the beach, near her home in Wall. "I can imagine she's not happy about it."

Well. If Spitzer does go through with this fool's errand and attempt to re-assume his throne, we think there's only one thing Ashley can do to stop it: She should run against him.

MOM DOES A SPITZ-TAKE [NYP]