At their wedding in Costa Rica this year, bodyguards for Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen turned the table on two paparazzi by shooting at them! Ha, no, not in a cute Drew Barrymore–I'm-just-playing-around kind of way. With guns.

In court documents, the men allege that the guards "opened fire with pistols." The men claim the bullets “shattered” the rear window of their SUV and “narrowly missed striking [their] heads.”

They managed to get away unscathed. Still, they were damaged by the experience (visions of blood-splattered Angel wings haunt them at night, etc.) and now they are suing Brady and Bündchen, because this is obviously their fault. They would like $1 million in damages. If this works out, we're going to consider suing the pair ourselves, for assaulting our eyes and our minds with their ridiculously good-looking bodies. (We'd settle under seven figures, if anyone wants to wrap this up now — we obviously have a case.)

Tom and Gisele sued for wedding shooting [NYP]