Photo: U.S. Marshal's Office

Bernard Madoff's gross Montauk beach house sold this morning to an unidentified buyer in an all-cash deal "over the asking price," Realtors told ABC News today, adding that they "cannot reveal any of the price details until after it closes." So who paid over the market price for this beige monstrosity bursting with bad juju? We have a few guesses:

1. Les Christie, the CNNMoney writer whose desperate attempts to discourage buyers by talking up how ugly the place was fooled no one.
2. The people from today's Times "Home" section.
3. Roland Ubaldo, the U.S. Marshal who called the place "really breathtaking, simple, stylish, with an understated elegance."
4. Irving Picard, the trustee who's raked in $14.7 million so far liquidating Madoff's estate.
5. Sheryl Weinstein.

And she's keeping the bed.

Sold! Bernie Madoff Beach House Goes to Contract at $8.75 Mil + [ABC, DealBreaker]
Earlier: Bernie Madoff’s Wooden Ducks Could Be Yours