Clear your calendars! The remains of the lives of Bernie and Ruth Madoff are being auctioned off this weekend at the Midtown Sheraton, and the U.S. Marshals office has made literally everything but the kitchen sink available: the wooden decoy ducks from the Montauk home, the Madoffs' personalized stationery, a portrait of a "wrinkled Indian," at least ten pairs of Ruth's shoes. The merch overall sounds not so great (fourteen translucent paper cups with "Beach" written on them?), but the Feds seem to be counting on the novelty value to drive the prices up: For example, the pièce de résistance — a blue satin jacket with orange trim labeled and embroidered "NY Mets," "MADF," "25," and "Madoff" is valued at $500 to $720, more than some of Ruth's furs.

US Marshals Service National Jewelry Auction (New York City) [Gaston and Sheehan Auctioners]