Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week: the Divorced Trader Living Out His Fantasy Life: male, 38, Park Slope, straight, in a long-term relationship.
DAY ONE
6:30 a.m.: Dressed and ready for work. Kiss girlfriend good-bye and head out to the office. We’re parents of young kids from other marriages, living together for several years, and having the best and most wild sex of our lives, despite the number of years that have rolled by together.
8:00 a.m.: Morning meeting is over, and I can’t remember a thing we just discussed. I keep seeing visions of tonight’s plans: naughty secretary and digital camera? We are posting our amateur porn for our growing fan base on a certain website. Looks like it is going to be a very, very long day.
9:30 a.m.: Market’s about to open. Any shred of concentration I had managed to gather just vanished. Do my fellow worker bees live this kind of sordid life, too? With absolute certainty, I realize that, no, they don’t.
9:00 p.m.: Tired and exhausted. No mood for reindeer games; I’m going to bed. Girlfriend saunters into the living room wearing full naughty secretary outfit — hot glasses, knee-high socks, and carrying my digital camera. Game on! Smoking hot photo shoot sex in our living room ensues.
DAY TWO
6:30 a.m.: Wake up horny and get all hot and bothered talking about last night’s activities and how good she looked. Another round gets underway.
4:00 p.m.: Talk with girlfriend about what each of us is going to wear to the S&M party we are going to tonight.
6:30 p.m.: Have a pleasant dinner with friends. They have no idea of the high jinks we are going to be up to around four hours from now.
10:00 p.m.: Arrive at the S&M party at a nondescript “art space” in Chelsea. Crowd looks pretty hot, though my girlfriend is clearly the hottest. She is wearing a black bikini and black platforms. Who cares what I’m wearing? Floggings, spankings, dancing, and sex are ample evidence. I watch two different men flog my girlfriend whilst I sip my drink and enjoy the show.
12:00 a.m.: I point out a dark, dingy back room with air mattresses laid out. We have wild, bouncy air-mattress sex next to another couple. There are several times where I worry that I am going to get launched off the mattress. Girlfriend makes out with and touches girl next to us.
DAY THREE
10:00 a.m.: The games we play together just keep getting better and better, and I am looking to keep exploring new heights of erotic adventure. Such as today: threesome. We planned this last week. She eventually arrives and we have brunch at a nearby café. Four mimosas.
11:00 a.m.: Threesome girl and I make out next to the bed. My girlfriend pretends to need something from down the hall. I think it’s pretty hot having my girl just watch — will have to try that some time.
1:00 p.m.: All three of us are exhausted. We have re-created almost every threesome porno position we could think of. I am suddenly bothered, though: There is definitely some stuff I forgot to do.
3:00 p.m.: While shopping for groceries, we discuss the fantastic dichotomy that is our life. We shop, we work, and we have a ridiculous amount of unconventional sex.
4:30 p.m.: Sit down to play Modern Warfare 2. What a great game — could this be any better?
4:45 p.m.: Girlfriend comes over, and we transition into full-blown sex on the couch in a variety of positions, complete with hair-pulling. Despite this I am still able to level-up my soldier in MW2 several times. Sweet.
DAY FOUR
6:00 a.m.: This weekend has wreaked havoc on my body — soreness aplenty. This is not sufficient enough to prevent a very intense hard-on, though. I look at my girlfriend sleeping and actually let out a sigh of relief. Pacing is important.
6:45 a.m.: Very cute girl who always wears hot workout attire walks by me on the subway platform. I want her.
10:20 a.m.: I have intense flashbacks about the other morning. I wonder if the girls feel the same way, too.
10:00 p.m.: Climb into bed with girlfriend. I can’t keep my hands of this girl. We proceed to have very frenetic and rough sex which culminates in one bite mark to my chest and several slaps to her face.
DAY FIVE
6:00 a.m.: Wake up feeling crappy. Yep, I have the flu. I am feverishly worried about whether I’m going to get better soon, and how this will affect my libido.
12:00 p.m.: Despite being in the throes of fever, I still have interest and ability in watching porn and jerking off. How is it that my body can be so weak and yet so greedy at the same time? Twice.
8:00 p.m.: Roll into bed early. Fall asleep almost immediately.
10:00 p.m.: Woken up by girlfriend under the covers. I remember, again why I love this girl so much. It ends with an amazing, intense orgasm for both of us. Given my afternoon activities, it’s amazing.
DAY SIX
11:00 a.m.: Take another day off work owing to flu. This sucks. Thank goodness for the broad array of free Internet porn.
3:30 p.m.: I realize how boring life is without work to break up the day. I further realize how deadly life would be without sex.
9:30 p.m.: Drift to sleep in a NyQuil-enhanced haze. I feel vaguely guilty that I haven’t touched my girlfriend in a whole 24 hours. Disturbing dreams commence.
DAY SEVEN
6:30 a.m.: Get into a ridiculous fight with girlfriend over toothbrushes. Leave the apartment angry.
11:00 a.m.: We make up over the phone, and all is well again. Trader next to me is looking at me funny again.
6:30 p.m.: We make dinner at home, and have a near-silent meal, stealing very naughty looks at each other across the table.
7:00 p.m.: Drag each other into the bedroom and she attacks me. We 69 and then finish with reverse cowgirl. Hot, however, in the mounted combat I seem to have had clumps of leg hair removed from my body leading to a painful weird, red rash.
10:00 p.m.: Sweet, sweaty, but thankfully non-feverish dreams, spooning each other.
TOTALS: Three acts of masturbation; seven acts of intercourse with girlfriend, including one threesome; one filmed Internet porn.
