Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Horny Single Gay Guy Wondering If All NYC Gays (Except Him) Are in Open Relationships: 25, Asian-American, single, works in marketing, Chelsea.
DAY ONE
8:40 a.m.: Bump into fuck buddy while walking to work. He winks at me, and we flirt for a bit. He looks really hot in his gym clothes. He gives my hair a tussle before we go our separate ways. I’m jealous of his boyfriend.
11:30 a.m.: Receive text from fuck buddy saying his boyfriend is gone for the weekend. He wants to see me tonight.
11:50 a.m.: My friends have been telling me to stop seeing him, but I give in to temptation. I text him back and make tentative plans.
11:52 a.m.: Remind myself to not get emotionally invested. He’s just a fuck buddy…who could also turn out to be the perfect boyfriend.
11:53 a.m.: No, he’s just a fuck buddy. I really suck at this.
1:30 p.m.: Lunch with co-worker at a Thai restaurant. The Asian waiter is attractive. Can’t tell if he’s sticky rice or a potato queen. Flirt with him nonetheless.
9:05 p.m.: Birthday dinner for a straight-guy friend. Place is packed with good-looking men and an even better-looking staff. Share a booze-filled watermelon with one of my girlfriends.
1:00 a.m.: Bar hop with birthday party. Receive texts from fuck buddy. He wants me to come over now.
2:07 a.m.: End the night at Gentleman’s Club. Birthday boy receives two lap dances.
2:19 a.m.: Continue exchanging texts with fuck buddy. Decide to leave in 20 minutes to head to his place.
2:50 a.m.: He answers the door with a tent in his shorts. We have aggressive sex. He pounds me on his side of the bed. I’m not allowed anywhere on his boyfriend’s side.
4:00 a.m.: Walk home satisfied. One good thing about fuck buddy: location. I live down the street from him.
DAY TWO
11:00 a.m.: Try a new spinning time at gym and am pleasantly surprised to find spinning instructor is hot.
11:30 a.m.: If he continues looking and smiling at me I’m going to fall off the bike.
11:48 a.m.: After class hot instructor comes up to me and says he hopes to see me next week. I sign up before I leave. I think I’m too naïve.
1:00 p.m.: Laundry time. I rewatch season two premiere of Glee to pass time. I’m in love with other Asians’ abs.
2:30 p.m.: Reading and tanning at Christopher Street Piers. Seeing all the couples together makes me wish I were in a relationship. Tempted to text fuck buddy but decide not to.
5:02 p.m.: Pack up my stuff to go back home. Get a death glare from another Asian boy with his daddy boyfriend. Homegirl, I’m not a slightest bit attracted to your daddy.
7:19 p.m.: Roommate’s best friend comes over. I have such a schoolgirl crush on him that it’s ridiculous.
11:38 p.m.: Another birthday party. Birthday girl’s model boyfriend is hot. He’s one of those guys who stand outside a store half naked. I try to convince him to take off his shirt. No success.
2:10 a.m.: Drunk dial a guy I met at Fire Island this summer. No answer. I need to stop doing this. Remind myself to delete him from my phone.
DAY THREE
11:25 a.m.: Wake up. Chug water while trying to recap last night in my head.
11:30 a.m.: While washing face notice that I have a stamp on my right wrist. CRAP. Desperately trying to remember where I went after the birthday party.
11:33 a.m.: Putting pieces together. Slightly recall seeing annoying gay I met at a party a few weeks ago. Also think I went to the scary leather bar by my apartment that gives me the creeps.
11:40 a.m.: Can’t find phone number of annoying gay. Eventually give up. Hey, at least I’m alive.
6:00 p.m.: Gay bingo at Splash with straight girlfriend. Determine to be good because bingo usually ends up with me being a drunken mess.
7:13 p.m.: Order a soda from the hot bartender who always flirts with me. I know he’s just doing his job and is being friendly, but I like it whenever he calls me “boyfriend.”
7:20 p.m.: Tell girlfriend that I need to put an end to my bad dating streak. I have to stop going on dates with guys who are already in relationships.
9:31 p.m.: Head home sober and happy because I’m not stumbling across Chelsea drunk like most Sundays.
10:01 p.m.: Spot young gay couple holding hands in front of me. Too adorable. Wish I were in a relationship.
10:50 p.m.: Look at some online porn. Watch a scene involving a “straight” guy going gay for the first time. The guys at the site are usually too white for me.
11:05 p.m.: Rub one out and go to bed.
DAY FOUR
2:40 p.m.: Surprise gchat from hot lawyer I met at a work event a few weeks ago. We’ve been trying to grab drinks again, but our schedules haven’t matched up. He wants to see me tonight.
7:20 p.m.: Spot gym crush. We’ve been checking each other out for a while now. I can’t tell if he thinks I’m cute or retarded. Most likely the latter.
8:30 p.m.: Text from lawyer. He’s in my neighborhood and wants to see me. Text him back and plan to meet him at 9.
9:00 p.m.: Meet lawyer at my favorite wine bar, Bar Veloce, in Chelsea. Damn, he looks sexy in his fitted suit.
11:25 p.m.: He walks me back to my apartment and kisses me outside the door. He’s hard and grabbing my ass.
11:33 p.m.: Invite him up. Make out and give him head. Surprised at how thick he is. We end up having sweaty sex where I ride him.
12:10 a.m.: We clean up. He pats my ass and heads home.
DAY FIVE
8:30 a.m.: Wake up late. Shower and realize how stiff my lower back is. I try to stretch it out. Hobble out of door to work.
9:30 a.m.: Talking with co-worker about last night in work pantry. He calls me a sloppy slut and begins to tell me about his drama-filled night.
6:15 p.m.: Gym. No gym crush today. Walk past hot Asian guy with solid build leaving. We both give each other a double take.
8:00 p.m.: Watching Glee with gay best friend and his boyfriend at his apartment.
8:40 p.m.: Get a hard-on from daydreaming about threesome with them during commercial break. Hide boner with a pillow.
9:38 p.m.: Back home and finish reading a book. Spot straight couple in apartment facing my window having sex. Guy has an incredible ass. Fantasize me riding him.
10:17 p.m.: Notice straight guy in apartment naked again. He catches me looking, smirks, and walks back into his room. What a tease.
DAY SIX
11:40 a.m.: Lawyer gchats me, asking how I’m doing. I ask him what he’s up to this weekend. He responds: “Spending time with boyfriend’s family.”
11:42 a.m.: BOYFRIEND? Really? Is this really happening to me again? Are all the gays in the city in an open relationship? End chat. Angrily work on marketing plan with a looming deadline.
7:15 p.m.: Spinning class with best girlfriend. Take out aggression on the workout.
8:05 p.m.: Hot straight white male with huge penis walking around locker room. I can’t stop staring. I can tell he likes the attention. Again — why are straight men such teases?
8:10 p.m.: Think about following him into the steam room but realize how creepy and sketchy that would be. Shower and head home.
8:50 p.m.: Hang with roommate and his juiced-up friends. They know me as “twinkie roommate.” I’ve been called that by my roommate and his friends as well as other people. I don’t like being defined as “twinkie” [Ed: “Twinkie,” or more commonly, “Twink,” is gay slang for a young gay guy who is slender and tiny] because it’s just not me.
9:30 p.m.: If I had sex with any of my roommate’s friends, they would snap me in half. Then again, that could be a good thing.
10:20 p.m.: Jerk off and go to bed early.
DAY SEVEN
1:30 p.m.: Slow day at work. Text a friend to see what he’s doing tonight. We decide to get the boys together.
6:50 p.m.: One bad thing about fuck buddy: location. I run into fuck buddy and his boyfriend at local Trader Joe’s. We pretend we don’t know each other.
7:10 p.m.: Get a text from fuck buddy telling me how cute I looked. My friends are right. I need to end things with him.
7:12 p.m.: Text him back: “Thanks, you too.” Sigh.
8:00 p.m.: Late workout at gym. See gym crush in locker room. We trade looks, and I decide to smile. Nothing back — that confirms it. He thinks I’m a freak.
10:20 p.m.: Meet up with the boys at local gay bar Barracuda. They have the best Thursday drag show, hosted by the ever-fabulous Peppermint.
11:00 p.m.: Notice a good-looking white guy at bar looking at me, or I think he’s looking at me. He’s probably staring at the muscle guys behind me.
11:50 p.m.: Decide to call it a night. Say goodnight to my gay boys and head out.
12:00 a.m.: See good-looking white guy in front of bar. He keeps staring at me. I take my chances and say hi.
12:08 a.m.: What a surprise, he’s actually rather intelligent and not creepy. We bond over graduating from small New England liberal arts colleges.
12:15 a.m.: Good conversation turns sour when he reveals to me that he’s only into Asians. He wants to suck my “eggroll.” Really? I say good night and walk home briskly in the rain.
Totals: Two acts of masturbation, two acts of sex, one oral. Two acts of ogling hot straight boys.
