ink-stained wretches

Seven of President Obama’s Most Heinous Transgressions Against American Society

Muckraking classic.

In the intro to his new book, The Amateur, serious author Edward Klein promises to reveal the “dark side” of President Obama, the one his “advisers have gone to elaborate lengths to hide” from the American public. “[B]ased on my reporting, I concluded that Obama is actually in revolt against the values of the society he was elected to lead,” Klein writes. It’s a bold claim, to say the least, and we were skeptical. But after reading all 258 pages, we can confirm that Klein has the evidence to back it up. Herewith, we present the seven most flagrant examples of Obama’s odious war on American society.

Never invited his physician to dinner, according to Dr. David Scheiner:

Other patients invited me to dinner and their homes, but Obama never did.”

Never participated in intellectual lunchtime circle jerks with University of Chicago Law School faculty, recalls former interim dean Richard Epstein:

The members of the faculty reserved a round table for ten in the Quadrangle Club, where we had lunch and engaged in an intense intellectual exchange … But Barack Obama never attended these lunches.”

Forces his pollsters to analyze polls:

He lets others in the White House deconstruct polling data and analyze electoral maps, because he thinks that such behavior is beneath him.

Doesn’t invite journalists into his bedroom:

Perhaps no reporter better insinuated herself into the White House than the New York Times’s Jodi Kantor, who did more than thirty interviews with current and former White House staff for her book The Obamas. But when asked if she had ever seen the Obama’s White House private quarters, Kantor replied: “No. I can’t even name a journalist who has ever been up there under the Obama watch.

Didn’t hang out with Caroline Kennedy that one time:

The president didn’t even make an effort to see Caroline, whose home on Martha’s Vineyard, Red Gate Farm, was not far from the house the president was renting.

Didn’t pick up Oprah at the airport:

Instead, Oprah had to pay for a limo ride to the White House.

Didn’t offer Oprah any pie, a horrified “Harpo executive” recounts:

[O]ddly enough, Michelle mentioned that the White House cooks made the best pie in the world. But she didn’t offer Oprah or Gayle any. It was almost an act of cruelty. Instead, she served them almonds, not an Oprah fave.”

Obama’s Heinous Offenses in Ed Klein’s Amateur