We'll admit, even though it was lightly snowing last night before we went to bed, we were dubious about what we would see when we woke up. Fool us once, shame on you, weather. Fool us twice, shame on you, Weather.com. But then we looked out the window and were pleasantly surprised to see heavy chunks of snow blowing all over the place, and actual accumulation on the ground! (Not on the sidewalk pavement at first, but come on, everyone knows that particular cement is heated from beneath by the fires of Gehenna). The snow is expected to intensify throughout the day and until early tomorrow morning, with a total of twelve to eighteen inches expected in the city. Even though we are adults and we have to work today, we couldn't help but get a little excited. Why should D.C. get all the fun this winter?
So what would you do if you had a snow day today? 
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This, for example, the advertisers could have predicted would be big.
At this year's UpFront, CNN will guarantee away-from-home viewers as part of its overall numbers, according to a report in MediaWeek. Basically, this means that as part of the exposure package it promises to potential advertisers, they'll count people who happen to catch CNN on screens at places like friends' houses, airports, bars, restaurants, and hotels. These numbers are hard to specify and are unaccredited by the Media Ratings Council, which is why no network has ever before used them as part of their viewership guarantee.
But when they're counted, they really help CNN. 
We've been ignoring Lori Gottlieb and her book, Marry Him, because it seemed like there were enough ladies getting worked up about it on the Internet. Also we could tell from the premise (something about how women shouldn't be too choosy, and should settle for the nice guy with halitosis and a harelip so they don't end up old and alone and getting hated on the Internet like the author) that thinking about it would just lead us to ponder questions for which there aren't any answers, and not the fun kinds of questions without answers such as "What does Bo Obama think about when he's frolicking in the snow?" But now "fatty cum" is involved, and so we're paying attention.
"Fatty cum that tasted like cream." 
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Estée Lauder introduces New Perfectionist [CP+] Targeted Deep Wrinkle Filler: a skin care "secret weapon" that allows you to erase even deep wrinkles instantly. With targeted accuracy, this high tech treatment smooths, fills and generally de-wrinkles the appearance of your most stubborn, unwanted creases. It's so effective that 100% of women tested reported a reduction in moderate to deep crows feet, lip lines and frown lines.