Bill O'Reilly last night mentioned the old clip of himself from Inside Edition that has been making the rounds on the Internet this week. The clip shows him exploding in anger over a malfunctioning TelePrompTer. Above, you'll see he mentions it in passing, describing his nutty rage as a "state of displeasure." "I, your humble correspondent, have plenty of much newer stuff, because by contractual obligation I have to create a few dramas every year for the amusement of my co-workers," he jokes. "They'd quit if I didn't do that." That's funny, Bill. We thought they quit when you did create drama. Anyhoo, after the jump, our favorite new YouTube spinoff, the "Bill O'Reilly Flips Out DANCE REMIX." Courtesy of, where else, gay-news blog Towleroad.

Today Channel 4 anchor Sue Simmons tells the Post that she was not drunk on the air when she dropped the F-bomb on Monday. The tabloid claimed that the popular New York news mainstay used to head to Gallaghers or Jean Georges between the 5 p.m. and 11 p.m. broadcasts and get tipsy. But today, she denies the story: "I haven't had an alcoholic drink between shows for at least 15 years or more," she says. "Not one word of [the Post story] is true." The original tabloid tale was titled "SILLY SUE A SALTY SWILLER," which is, admittedly, awesome. But today's headline read: "SUE FUMES OVER NEWS OF BOOZE." Not "Sue Denies Booze Story," or something that indicates that it may have been wrong. She's just mad about the fact that the Post figured it out, you see. Luckily, the tabloid's eternally polite cartoonist Sean Delonas doesn't let silly things like denials get in the way of his art. Above we see the insanely insulting evidence of his gusto. Apparently, not only is Sue Simmons a drunk, she's also a smoker, maybe a gambler, and possibly a whore. And she cries when she drinks, which is the worst offense of all. If we were her, we'd pull a Col Allen and go over to the Post and kick some ass. Since when do they have the right to get all judgey over drinking during work hours?

SUE FUMES OVER NEWS OF BOOZE [NYP]

There are few places in New York more anonymous than the grimy Port Authority bus terminal. Most of us could comfortably loll around the First Stop Last Stop Café for days without seeing a familiar face. But America's best-loved prostitute, Ashley Alexandra Dupré, a.k.a. Kristen, is not so lucky. Kristen's been holed up at her mom's house in Wall, New Jersey, ever since it was revealed that she boned governor Eliot Spitzer for $4,300 and, perhaps more shamefully, once appeared in a Girls Gone Wild video. But yesterday she took a bus into Manhattan — only to run smack into a Post reporter the second she got there. What a coincidence! According to the Post, Kristen "freaked out" when approached by a reporter and photographer, but they did manage to get a few good pictures. Luckily for Kristen, for this bus journey she had chosen not to wear cruddy sneakers and a Juicy Couture sweatsuit but a decidedly camera-ready belle du jour ensemble: a pencil skirt and Jackie O sunglasses accessorized by a massive Fendi belt, so at least she looked good while being violated by the cameras. That Kristen. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or maybe the right place at the right time?

Kristen Shows What She's Got [NYP]

You work late. Like, every night. You probably screwed up your last steady relationship, and, well, maybe there's no one to curl up next to in bed when you stumble in the door at night. Drew Burrows knows the feeling. "I'm in this grad program right now, and it's totally consuming," he said. "I come home every night to an empty bed." So Burrows, 28, engineered (literally) a solution, which he unveiled to the public last night at NYU's Interactive Telecommunications Program Spring Show at Tisch School of the Arts.

As you are no doubt aware, yesterday People magazine unveiled a set of photographs to the public, and not since Abu Ghraib — or at least the birth of Suri Cruise — has a set of photographs created such a stir. The slightly overexposed images, taken with a long-lens camera, clearly depicted a sight America was longing to see: Gossip Girl stars Penn Badgely and Blake Lively swimming, drinking frozen beverages, and totally making out. The two play a couple on the show but have been tediously denying dating in real life for months. Now, the evidence was now irrefutable! People triumphantly pointed it out to Gossip Girl co-star Matthew Settle last night, the day after thousands were killed in China. How did he think "America will react" to the startling photos? "I think people are going to love them as a couple," replied Settle, who plays Rufus, Badgely's father on the show. People pressed for more of his "fatherly insight." "They're a very hot couple," he went on. "They look good together." Ew, wait. "A hot couple"? They "look good together"? That is so not fatherly. That's actually sort of … gross.

Gossip Girl's TV Dad: Penn & Blake 'Good for Each Other' [People]

Congressman Vito Fossella's final words before he emerged from lockup two weeks ago, just after his drunk-driving arrest and before the maelstrom of public scandal that would erupt:

"Honey, we'll get through this."

When you're saying that to your secret baby-mama mistress, and not your loving wife and the mother of your three young children, you've gotta know it's going to turn out to be a lie.

But in his defense, he was drunk.

Vito Fossella assures 'honey' everything will be fine - and thinks he'll keep job [NYDN]

It is now day two of the Sue Simmons Swearing Scandal, and it appears that New York City has not yet recovered. Both the Times and Newsday report that when the beloved Channel 4 anchor said, "What the fuck are you doing?" live on air, she was joking to her longtime co-anchor Chuck Scarborough. It's not clear what he did to deserve the outburst, but both outlets report that she thought the moment was for a taped promo, not a live one. Newsday goes on to speculate as to whether Simmons will be fired over the gaffe. Not to take too much of an editorial stance on this, but what?? Sue Simmons has been a beloved figure in New York for more than two decades. She's been on the air for as long as many people can remember. She swore once in her 27-year career, after 10 p.m. no less, and they're thinking she may get the boot? You have got to be kidding.

The Times was a little more squeamish about getting into a discussion of Simmons's future, instead choosing to focus on the ol' "hey, we all swear a lot these days, huh?" meme. And the Post? What was their take on the whole kerfuffle? That Sue Simmons is a drunk, obviously. She goes out for dinner between the afternoon and late-night broadcasts and has "a cocktail or two." Which we thought was just under the disaster limit, but to the Post drinking that much apparently makes you a "SALTY SWILLER." We have at least four drinks a night — what does that make us, then? Crapulent Chuggers? Eh, we'll take that.

When an Anchor Curses on the Air, She Becomes the Night’s Top Story [NYT]
On-air expletive raises question about Simmons' future [Newsday]
SILLY SUE A SALTY SWILLER [NYP]
Earlier: Examining the Two-Drink Barrier
Sue Simmons Wants to Know What the F**k You Are Doing

Now, we don't want to overload you with too much Gossip Girl for one day (we know, we know, for some of you it isn't possible — but for others, trust us, it's easy to reach the limit). But we've found something you simply must see. Photo evidence that Dan and Serena are dating in real life! People snapped the pair in Cancun as they lounged by the pool, applied sunblock to one another, and totally made out. In the water, no less! They're just like Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo, except there is no sex involved and we actually care. Click on over to People.com to check it out. We're sure Dan's skinny/built physique will not be lost on you.

Blake & Penn's Romantic Getaway [People]
Earlier: 'Gossip Girl' Gives Us the High of Our So-Called Lives

Incarcerated rapper Remy Ma’s jailside wedding was called off yesterday when her fiancé tried to smuggle a handcuff key into the nuptials. (Remy Ma faces up to 25 years for shooting a friend in the stomach last summer.) She was scheduled to marry fellow rapper Papoose on Rikers Island, until guards discovered Papoose’s contraband and kicked him off the premises before he even saw his betrothed. Now, Remy has to wait until she is up in the maximum-security Bedford Hills Correctional Facility for Women in Westchester County before she can try to tie the knot again. The Post reports:

"Get out of my face," Papoose snarled at a reporter yesterday as he returned to his Cadillac SUV in the jail's parking lot.

"I don't want to talk," said the still-single "Mix Tape King," who had worn his Sunday-best Yankee cap for the occasion.

"You all write racist articles."

You have to love (and by “love” we mean “roll your eyes at”) the Post, a publication for which the quotes “I don’t want to talk” and “Get out of my face” are considered worthy of inclusion in an article. Then they run his accusation that the newspaper is racist in tandem with the snide remark that he’d worn his “Sunday-best Yankee cap” to the wedding. Way to play against type, Posties! —Noelle Hancock

A Key to Remy's Heart [NYP]

Remember when Rudy Giuliani got kicked out of Gracie Mansion by his ex-wife Donna Hanover after his affair with current wife Judith Nathan came to light? It was an amazing moment, not just because the mayor was kicked out of the mansion that is, you know, operated as a place for mayors to live. No, it was amazing because he moved in to sleep on the couch of his two gay friends for a while. It was a quintessential Manhattan moment — come on! The gays have the most comfortable couches! With cute Boston Terrier puppies to wake you up with kisses in the morning, and no kids to watch Yo Gabba Gabba when you're trying to catch The View from bed. Well, today we apparently learn what the Staten Island version of that moment is: Vito Fossella, the sex-and-alcohol-and-paternity-scandalized congressman, has been kicked out of the house where his wife, Mary Pat, and their three kids live. Where's he living? In the tiny spare apartment over his sister's garage. Not quite as glamorous as a Jonathan Adler–stuffed luxury loft apartment, like Rudy's hideaway, but hey, it has its own staircase to get in and out. He can have chicks over! (Or, as Vito calls them, "baby mamas.") Rudy's gays would have never stood for that. They get makeup all over the West Elm bathroom sinks!

Vito Fossella Camps Out Over Garage [NYDN]