Daily Intel

Jessica Roy Ponders What It Really MEANS to Be American

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:45:12 -0500

Photo: Courtesy of Jessica Roy

Apparently living in Paris for a semester has taught lost soul Jessica Roy that there's something missing about America. "Perhaps because the US is still a relatively new country — particularly compared to France and other European nations — there isn't a strong sense of selfhood surrounding our nationality," she blogs for HuffPo. "I believe the American identity is something divorced from flag pins on politician's lapels or God Bless America signs looming over Midwestern freeways." And thus concludes our last ever post about Jessica Roy. [HuffPo]

Stocks Plunged Despite Rate-Cut Promises by Bernanke, and AIG Execs Went on Posh Vacation

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:02:34 -0500

We hate reading the word "plunge" on the New York Times homepage unless it is underneath a picture of Michael Phelps wearing a Speedo the size of a Band-Aid. But that's what we're faced with now that the Dow closed down 508 points, plummeting still further past the 10,000 mark. This happened in spite of reassurances from Fed chair Ben Bernanke that he was prepared to lower interest rates. Bank of America stock, which started the day with bad news, lost about 25 percent, as did Morgan Stanley.

But never fear — some people have been having a good time! Executives at AIG (remember them, the guys we bailed out to the tune of $85 billion?) spent over a half million on hotel rooms, room service, and spa treatments during a corporate retreat last month, less than a week after the government saved their asses. The House Committee on Oversight and Government revealed this little splurge today and Republican representative Mark Souder called it an example of "unbridled greed." (Man, public servants don't get to go on corporate retreats or something?)

Well, we've learned a couple of things today. One, Tuesdays are not always better than Mondays, and two, that whole "Greatest Depression" thing? Greater for some than others.

Markets Plunge Despite Hint of Rate Cut [NYT]
After Bailout, AIG Execs Headed to California Resort [ABC News]

Penn Badgley’s Celebrity Crush Is Parker Posey??

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:32:01 -0500

We'll have some of the shit he's eating.
Photo: Getty Images

This month, Seventeen magazine interviewed Penn Badgley, better known as Dan from the Greatest Show of Our Time. In their piece, we learn that Penn's celebrity crush is Parker Posey. What? Setting aside the fact that his real-life girlfriend, Blake Lively, is also a celebrity, um, duh, Parker Posey would totally be on Team Blair! Anyway, we also learn that Penn loves Mean Girls and Friends. Hmmm, he sounds so un-tortured. This doesn't sound like Dan Humphrey at all! But wait, in the print edition of Seventeen, we get this gem:

What advice do you wish someone had given you growing up?
I wish I had known that vulnerability is universal for everyone, regardless of how cool or not cool they are. You have such a heightened awareness of yourself, so even small things seem life-changing — a bad day turns into, 'Oh my gosh, my life is over.' If I were still a teen, I would want to hear: 'It's okay. Take a deep breath and move on.'

Just right! (Emphasis theirs.) Now don't anybody go acting all surprised that we give such close reading to the print and online versions of a magazine like Seventeen. Would you expect any less of us?

Penn Badgley Answers 17 Juicy Questions! [Seventeen]

Republican Crowds Getting a Little Nuts

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:09:01 -0500

She's like a whiter Angelina Jolie.
Photo: AP

Chalk it up to the trickle-down effect of the recent mudslinging or simply the desperation of watching John McCain's prospects dwindle, but the crowds at McCain-Palin events are getting kind of out of control recently. Yesterday someone shouted out "Terrorist!" when McCain asked rhetorically, "Who is Barack Obama?" At another rally, when Palin mentioned Obama's relationship with William Ayers, someone yelled out "Kill him!" — though it's unclear whether that was directed at Obama or Ayers. And today at another Palin event, someone in the audience shouted "Treason!" after Palin told the crowd that Obama said "that our troops in Afghanistan are just 'air-raiding villages and killing civilians.'" Basically, these rallies are turning into a sinister form of $20,000 Pyramid: "This is what we call it when a presidential candidate hates American troops." "Treason!" "Okay, and this is what you call a presidential candidate who hates America." "A terrorist!" "Okay, and this is something you do with a terrorist." "Umm … Kill him!" Bzzzz. Time's up.

It's not all fun and games, however, for the journalists covering the events, like the ones met with obscenities and racial epithets at the Palin rally in Clearwater yesterday, as reported in the Washington Post. Maybe it's a blessing, then, that the press covering Palin were forbidden to roam outside their designated area to talk with supporters, so as to prevent "negative things" from being written. With audiences like these, can you really blame them? The mind reels at what priceless nuggets of wisdom reporters could gather if the people in these crowds were given the chance to express themselves with a full sentence.

Update: Radar reports that the Secret Service has contacted Post reporter Dana Milbank to investigate the threat he heard from the crowd.
Unleashed, Palin Makes a Pit Bull Look Tame [WP]
Press kept under a watchful eye [St. Petersburg Times]

Katie Roiphe and Matthew Yglesias on the Financial Crisis’ Upside and Why McCain May Well ‘Win’ Tonight’s Debate

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:58:38 -0500

Photo: Getty Images

Every day (or close to it) until November 4, a series of writers and thinkers will discuss the election over instant messenger for nymag.com. Today, Katie Roiphe, the author, most recently, of Uncommon Arrangements, and Think Progress blogger Matthew Yglesias discuss Sarah Palin's latest attacks on Obama, what the silver lining of the financial meltdown might be, and why McCain will likely be declared the winner of tonight's debate.

K.R.: Given that the world is falling apart, it's kind of a slow news day. What do you think of Sarah Palin's latest attack on Obama?

M.Y.: She seems to be continuing in the pattern of audaciously making stuff up that she started with the "bridge to nowhere" nonsense … my guess is that people are going to be more interested in the whole world-is-falling-apart issue.

K.R.: One hopes. Though it seems this is a variation on the tried-and-true Republican attack on "card-carrying liberals." Her "left-wing agenda" may have the same resonance, who knows? I guess I'm just jittery about what looks like a pretty solid lead.

M.Y.: I'm feeling pretty confident about the election at this point. My problem is more that having spent a week feeling happy about an economic crisis giving Obama a big boost, over the past 48 hours I'm realizing that an economic crisis is actually pretty terrifying. After all, I'm not sure that political punditry counts as a marketable skill in a downturn.

K.R.: You are probably right. But I have to admit that I am hopeful for a silver lining here. My nephew, who is a junior in college and interned at a hedge fund this summer, was planning to be an investment banker, and I just heard that he wrote an article in the Harvard Crimson about how this economic disaster should open up possibilities for his generation, how they should stop seeing the whole goal of life as earning money … maybe our insanely materialistic culture needs some correction.

M.Y.: It will be nice to see some of the incredible mystique and prestige attached to the financial industry stripped away. And I can't help but feel some Schadenfreude at the idea of some of these jerks working "in finance" who I was chatting with back in May at my college reunion being brought low. Still, somehow I expect that the top dogs will make it through this okay and struggling people are going to see their lives get even worse.

K.R.: I am sure you are right about that. And it is not those hedge-fund guys who will be losing their lofts in Tribeca … and yet, I do think that there is something decadent about our culture, something money-obsessed that has to and will change.

M.Y.: It's apparently not actually true that the Chinese word for "crisis" combines the characters for "danger" and "opportunity," but it's become a cliché because there is some real truth to that, and I do hope that maybe something good will come out of this. At a minimum, some better understanding, both socially and politically, of how much economic success or failure is just due to dumb luck.

K.R.: I hope tonight's debate takes up some of these questions. Not the larger existential possibilities of economic crisis, but the economy in general. I noticed predictions that McCain will be electrified by the presence of an audience. I would be surprised. I have never seen McCain electrified by anything.

M.Y.: The theory that McCain is good in town-hall settings has always mystified me. In the footage I've seen, he seems to wander around the stage aimlessly mumbling and stepping on his own punch lines. If anything, he'll be electrified by the specter of his sagging poll numbers. He does seem to get feistier when faced with the prospect of losing.

K.R.: I think there is also the need for a news story, and Obama is very poised and his lead is not an interesting news story. In a way the only thing that can happen from the commentators' point of view is McCain Loses His Temper or McCain Electrifies Audience.

M.Y.: It's better for the news biz if the race returns to being a nail-biter, so I kind of suspect that McCain will be proclaimed the winner no matter what happens.

K.R.: I am also curious about this audience of "undecided voters." I mean, at this point who is undecided? What exactly is unclear about the issues? I wonder sometimes if people don't pretend to be undecided because that is the position of power: Persuade me! Woo me!

M.Y.: I do think there's a lot of research indicating that most people who say they're undecided actually have pretty clear leanings. And, of course, if I knew that pretending to be undecided might help me get to ask a question in a debate, I'd gladly lie.

K.R.: Somehow, also, all this indecision, all of these forums with undecided voters, foreground how depressing the democratic process is in practice. The idea, I admit, is exquisite, beautiful, but in practice? These undecided voters like Sarah Palin's use of the word "doggone it" or they think McCain looks old. When you see these so-called undecided voters making their decisions, you see the thought process. And I think, maybe there is another system that works better?

M.Y.: Well, despite all the noise and absurdity on an individual level, the overall trend seems to be that when the situation gets bad, people throw out the incumbents. That's not really such a terrible thing. Maybe the next president will look at Bush's current approval ratings and decide he'd better try to not screw everything up.

K.R.: I guess one has to place hope in the rationality of the system. It isn't the frightening spectacle of one guy in Ohio describing how he would like to have a beer with one of the candidates. It is the general effect, and maybe people will vote sanely on the end of the world, who knows?

M.Y.: I sure hope whoever gets put in charge of forestalling the end of the world in January knows what he or she is doing.

Earlier: James Fallows and Katie Roiphe on Sarah Palin Winking Her Way Through the Debate

For a complete and regularly updated guide to presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain — from First Love to Most Embarrassing Gaffe — read the 2008 Electopedia.

Where to Drink Tonight: Your Country Needs You!

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:37:49 -0500

These guys'll be drunk tonight. Will you be?
Photo: Getty Images

If you really, really think tonight's debate is going to matter, you might as well watch it in a bar where everybody's going to be paying attention. After the jump, a list of parties where you can catch the action.

BELOW 14TH STREET

Generation Obama will be watching for change at the Village Pourhouse (64 Third Ave., nr 11th St.; 212-979-2337). How apropos — that's where we're all headed anyway. Free! Begins at 8.

Nolita's Sweet & Vicious (5 Spring St., nr. Bowery; 212-334-7915) is holding a debate party as the candidates teeter toward the latter of the bar's titular qualities. An optional $25 cover gets you drunk (on unlimited wine and beer) by 9:30, just in case the battle isn't going your way. The bar's TV will be tuned in to the show, and its outdoor garden will project the debate on an additional screen, weather permitting. Begins at 8.

Barack the casbah once more in the West Village at Mr. Dennehy's (63 Carmine St., nr. Seventh Ave.; 212-414-1223). An optional donation at the door benefits the Obama-Biden campaign. Inside, enjoy $5 appetizers and happy-hour drink prices from 7:30 to 8:30.

The past two debate parties at the Tribeca Grand Hotel's (2 Sixth Ave., nr. Walker St.; 212-519-6600) screening room have been so popular that the party's moving upstairs to the hotel's larger Sanctum Lounge. The same sophisticated democratic fun can be expected.

Yelp is hosting a debate bash at Boss Tweed's (115 Essex St., nr. Rivington St.; 212-475-9997), where $3 beers will help amateur online critics of all political leanings get along as they watch the debate and have some of their own. Begins at 8.

ABOVE 14TH STREET

Been wondering where Obama's telemarketing team goes for a drink after a full day of fund-raising? Apparently, to Red Sky (47 E. 29th St., nr. Madison Ave.; 212-447-1820), where Obama phone-bankers are gathering for drinks and debate-watching at 8:45.

Join the midtown club crowd for political partying at Fashion 40 Lounge (202 W. 40th St., nr. Seventh Ave.; 212-221-3628), where the debate will be big-screened. The dinner menu will be offered beginning at 5. Free!

The Democratic Leaders of the 21st Century will hit Tonic Times Square (727 Seventh Ave., nr. 49th St.; 212-382-1059) to digest the debate on a myriad of very big screens in a less-than-serene setting. Additionally, the electoral college pool continues! Begins at 7.

The New York Republican Club holds debate parties, too! Tonight, their shindig will be at The Houndstooth (520 Eighth Ave., nr. 37th St.; 212-643-0034), where the GOP will provide wings and finger foods at the cash bar, and the debate will be screened in high-def.

BROOKLYN

The Capri Social Club (156 Calyer St., nr. Lorimer St.) in Greenpoint is hosting the Doo-Wop Debate Party, sponsored by Take the Handle magazine. Big screens will be playing the debate, and a post-debate jukebox social will make your cares float away…

Brooklyn for Barack gathers again at Moe's (80 Lafayette Ave., nr. S. Portland Ave., Fort Greene; 718-797-9536) to cheer on their man.

With a $10 minimum suggested cover/donation ($5 for students), Cafe Shane (794 Washington Ave., nr. Sterling, Prospect Heights; 718-940-7476) is hoping to raise some cash for the Obama campaign. Two screens will keeps eye glued to the issues, and dinner and drinks are being served.

Galapagos Art Space (16 Main St., nr. Water St.; 718-222-8500) in Dumbo is throwing a debate soiree tonight, emceed by comedian Michelle Collins. The event will include election trivia, pre-debate discussion with a Newsweek editor, snacks, and specially brewed Rosh Hashanah cocktails. Free! Begins at 7.

The Barack Rock benefit is gathering Guster, Andrew Bird, and the Fiery Furnaces for performances at the Williamsburg Hall of Music (66 N. 6th St., nr. Wythe Ave.; 718-486-5400), where the Obama Room will screen Obama's and McCain's performances. Comedian Eugene Mirman and pundit Lizz Winestead will be in attendance as well. $40, to benefit the Obama campaign. Begins at 6:30.

Inside a Recession-Proof Gramercy Park Mansion

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:03:15 -0500

Photo: Jonah Green

While you’re waiting for your five-story Greek Revival mansion facing Gramercy Park to sell, why don’t you turn it into a designer showcase? But make it interesting by assigning every room a theme based on a Showtime show. There’s a Californication study and a Dexter-inspired dining room. And since everything is for sale, the Weeds plants are yours. Take a video tour of all 8,800 unattainable square feet and then save $25 million.

Previous Video Tours:
Tribeca Penthouse
Double-wide East Village Townhouse
Julian Schnabel's Old West Village Loft

Obama’s Covert Cuteness Campaign?!!?!

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:30:40 -0500

Photo: Courtesy of Yes We Can (Hold Babies)

Obama's real weapon: babies. Adorable, sweet little babies who cuddle for change. Warning: Not safe for ovaries. [Yes We Can (Hold Babies) via Jezebel]

Bloomberg Still Working on Ronald Lauder’s All-Important Approval

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:15:27 -0500

Ronald Lauder stares down unlimited terms.
Photo: Getty Images

Hey, remember when the people of New York gave billionaire makeup heir Ronald Lauder the power to temporarily alter laws at his whim? Neither do we. But it seems that because Lauder was the catalyst for implementing term limits in the first place, we need his consent to change the law again. Lauder had been reluctantly onboard with Mayor Bloomberg's proposal to run for a third term when he thought it would apply just this one time, but turned on the plan when he discovered it could become permanent. "I was opposed to even extending it once," he told the Times on Sunday. "For the love of this city, I will do it once, but that is it." You hear that, New York? We get one exception, and that's it. Lauder is putting his foot down. We guess we should be grateful.

But Bloomberg wants to do things a little differently, and today in London he tried to downplay Lauder's dissension. The two really see eye-to-eye, Bloomberg explained, because he plans to put term limits on the ballot in 2010, and let voters decide whether the limit should remain at three terms or revert back to two. Either way, there will be term limits, just possibly less limited than before. "It was something that we both agreed to, and I think it will work out fine," he said. "I’ll talk to Ron when I get back." There, the two powerful billionaires will come to an agreement and everything will be settled. Democracy in action.

Bloomberg Plays Down Rift With Lauder Over Third Term [City Room/NYT]

This Depression Is the Greatest (in Bed)

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:52:01 -0500

Okay, okay, so we're 8 years old. But the stock market is tanking again this afternoon and it's been a long day. So what if the CNN headline here about Bush's economy speech this afternoon made us titter? [CNN]

Things to Say to Jews Who Ask If You’re Jewish

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:40:27 -0500

Being of some Mediterranean blood and having a profile that suggests it, we ourselves historically have been asked this time of year on the street by Orthodox Jews if we are Jewish (because they want to help other Jews with their Jewish-holiday prayers). This always amuses us, partly because when Christian-fundamentalist types approach us, we tell them we are gay Jews, and only half of that is true. So we appreciated this thread in which various Brooklyners, Jewish and non, talk about how they deal with this question when asked. "I'm seriously thinking about getting a hat made … that says 'no im not fucking jewish.'" A cyclist: "One dude sort [of] jumped right in my path, 'excuse me, sir!' and I was like 'dude, i am climbing a hill right now!'" And our favorite anecdote, from a guy jogging through Central Park: "Sure enough one of them asks me, 'Excuse me, are you Jewish?' and before I can even say anything one of his friends looks at the questioneer with disdain and says, 'C'mon [name], really? He's running.'" [Brooklynian]

Why Tonight’s Debate Won’t Matter

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:27:36 -0500

Photo: Getty Images

This morning pundits were saying that John McCain needs to change the conversation, to change the game, to change anything in order to get his campaign back in gear. His numbers are sliding drastically, and he needs a serious boost. Tonight's debate is the perfect opportunity to do something big. So will the Nashville showdown change everything? We don't think so! It'll be boring, and the media narrative will remain the same. Here are ten reasons why:

10. The ratings will probably be disappointing. The last televised debate drew a record 70 million audience because it starred ~~Joe Biden and~~ Sarah Palin. McCain and Obama's last matchup netted only 52.4 million viewers, and both candidates were cautious and boring — meaning some viewers probably won't come back. After all, The Real Housewives of Atlanta premieres tonight!

9. The fun and spontaneity has been trained out of both candidates. Remember the town-hall days when Obama said he'd meet with the leaders of Iran, Syria, Venezuela, Cuba, and North Korea in the first year of his administration without preconditions? And when McCain said the U.S. should be in Iraq "maybe 100" years? Yeah, those days are over. The best we can hope for is a completely bizarre Hillary Clinton–like non-sequitor where McCain brings up Tony Rezko or William Ayers for no apparent reason. They've got to relate to the economic bailout, right?

8. The media has already decided on the story line of the week. Everybody's being mean to one another! Negative ads! Heels on, gloves off! And if there's squabbling tonight, or if John McCain again refuses to even look at Obama, it'll just blend into that larger narrative. After all, how many times can you utter the phrase "kitchen sink" on MSNBC before the whole channel turns into HGTV?

7. Tom Brokaw, like Gwen Ifill, will have little control over the direction of the conversation. Not only will the questions be coming from "uncommitted voters" tonight, but the five-minute "freewheeling" discussion segment after each two-minute response will mean more of the candidates talking about whatever they want to. And Brokaw isn't known for trying to nail down guests for straight answers on Meet the Press. (Though we can't wait to see whether Saturday Night Live can get squinty Alec Baldwin in a white wig to play Brokaw!)

6. If McCain gets cranky and Obama stays cool, that's already written into the script. Over the last month, Obama's "low blood pressure" has become a talking point for pundits. And McCain's volatile temper is legendary. If Obama wigs out and McCain stays calm, that'd be news — but it won't happen. Picture something more like this — Obama: "I'm cool as a cucumber." McCain: "CUCUMBERS FEED TERRORISTS!"

5. There's no sexual tension. Part of what made the vice-presidential debate so fun was that it didn't seem like Sarah Palin and Joe Biden hated each other. It made it easier on the viewer, whereas Obama and McCain's mutual, palpable hatred will be difficult to watch. And even though none of you agreed with us, we still think there was a little flirtiness going on with the veep candidates. Everybody knows when a girl says, "Say it ain't so, Joe," she means, "drill, baby, drill!"

4. It's a rerun, anyway. McCain needs to spend this debate talking about the economy to restore his cred with voters worried about their finances. That's what the first half of the first debate was about. We've seen this before! And neither candidate had any good answers about the crisis the first time. Meanwhile, The Real Housewives of Atlanta will have rich black ladies. C'mon!

3. Everyone's expecting a McCain stunt. And for that reason, it won't happen. Remember when everyone expected Sarah Palin to fall flat on her face in the last debate, accidentally spearing herself in the left eyeball with her own stiletto that slipped off when she was doing her high kicks? Yeah, that didn't happen. If we've learned anything from this campaign season, it's that expecting the worst is the best way to have your expectations surpassed. McCain isn't desperate enough to try anything crazy. That would just make him look … desperate.

2. Obama has serious momentum in the polls. Oh, yeah. Even if McCain does a brilliant job tonight, it may not matter. People may still talk about the amazing shutout John Maine pitched against the Marlins at the end of last September, but you know what they talk about more? How the Mets spectacularly collapsed in the final leg of the 2007 season.

1. There's no one for Tina Fey to play in this debate. Seriously, that's why people watch these things, right?

Earlier: The Top Ten Excuses Sarah Palin Could Use to Back Out of the Race

Would LeBron Stay in Cleveland to Get Obama Elected?

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:35:00 -0500

Photo: YouTube

It’s been quiet on the LeBron James–to–New York front lately (unless you count the Cavs’ owner desperately insisting that it’s an insult to the very city of Cleveland to speculate that he’d ever want to leave). But James himself has now thrown some wood on the staying-in-Cleveland fire, during a speech at a Barack Obama voter-registration rally. After talking a little about change and the importance of voting, James ended an otherwise dull speech by appealing to the crowd’s true priority: “I love Ohio, and I ain’t going nowhere.”

Could LeBron want Obama to be elected so badly that he’d actually (gasp!) pledge to stay in Cleveland to make it happen? Is this just another empty campaign-season promise? If Hillary was the nominee, would that have improved the Knicks’ or Nets’ chances of landing him in 2010? (And if so, how do we go about starting a write-in campaign?) We're not too worried, though. If you’re reading this in Ohio, don’t believe these empty lies. If James is really so concerned about change, we know exactly where he'll sign. LeBron as a Knick: Now that’s change we can believe in.

I Love Ohio and I Ain't Going Nowhere [And One/Cleveland.com]

A Greatest Depression Upside? The Antiques Garage Is Staying Open!

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:15:22 -0500

It's hard not to like our current Greatest Depression just a little bit when perhaps it's linked to happy news like the fact that the longtime Chelsea Antiques Garage on 25th Street (which was to close after Thanksgiving) appears to be sticking around for at least a year or two. Said a vendor there, "The developer can't get a hotel license. There are too many hotels around here as it is." And not enough flea markets. And Brooklyn Flea, we know you're "all that" right now, but some of us Manhattanites are just too hung-over on Sundays to make it out there, okay? [Jeremiah's Vanishing NY]

Alan Cumming’s One Crazy Election Night

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:45:29 -0500

Photo: Patrick McMullan

Though he's been a hyperactive Obama supporter and get-out-the-vote activist, elfin Scotsman/future American Alan Cumming won't be able to vote next month. He's not a naturalized citizen yet. But it doesn't mean he hasn't marked voting day in his own special way in the past. Last night, while emceeing an Obama fund-raiser at the East Village studio of artist Gregory Colbert, Cumming told us about his One Crazy Night — Election 2004. We smell a classic in the making!

The doe-eyed scamp doesn't quite remember where the evening started, but Harvey Weinstein was definitely there. The trouble began when the Hollywood impresario got a disappointing phone call from a Kerry campaigner in Florida. "I remember thinking, Fuck, it's actually not gonna happen," Cumming recalls. Wearing a "Worst President Ever" T-shirt, Cumming and his partner (now husband), Graham, "made this pact to each other that we'd go to every trashy gay bar we knew. I remember doing handstands at Splash. You know where the evening's going when you're doing handstands at Splash." Sounds like a normal night to us, but whatever!

Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, Cumming and friends "ended up in a hotel opposite ground zero with a tranny. We checked into a hotel because it was the only way we could think of getting more booze." Oh, a celeb-tranny like Lypsinka or something? we asked. "She wasn't famous. Nice though! We were just so desperately unhappy." This time around, "I'm just worried about what I'm going to do if Obama doesn't win. I feel like there will almost be a revolution. So I want to be in a safe space." Still, what we wouldn't give for an apocalyptic, self-destructive all-nighter of handstands and trannies with a pansexual Tony winner.