As WWD is breathlessly reporting via newsflash in our in-boxes, American Media Inc. executive vice-president and chief editorial director Bonnie Fuller will resign from both of her positions as of Wednesday. She is also the author of The Joys of Much Too Much — but, alas, it seems as if she's had her fill.

On the bright side, Fuller will remain editor-at-large at Star magazine — you can't expect her to walk away from it all, can you? As long as there are celebrities with thighs, this lady's got a job to do. —Jessica Coen

Well, color us incorrect! Earlier today we tut-tutted the tabloids for jumping to conclusions about the future of congressman Vito Fossella after his drunk-driving arrest last week. But, it turns out, they were totally right. Fosella did have a love child with the "mystery woman" he was recklessly racing to meet that night. From a statement released by his office earlier today:

“I have had a relationship with Laura Fay, with whom I have a three year old daughter. My personal failings and imperfections have caused enormous pain to the people I love and I am truly sorry. While I understand that there will be many questions, including those about my political future, making any political decisions right now are furthest from my mind. Over the coming weeks and months, I will to continue to do my job and I will work hard to heal the deep wounds I have caused.”

In addition to guessing at the love child and assuming that Fossella's marriage was over, the Post and the Daily News also projected that his political career was over. After this news, we're guessing they were right on that front, too.

Fossella Admits Affair and Love Child [NYO]
Related: High Noon for Vito Fossella?

While Al Sharpton may have gotten himself arrested during today's Sean Bell protests and several hundred protesters shut down the Queensboro, Triborough, Brooklyn, and Manhattan bridges, it was a different scene down at our offices by the Holland Tunnel. Police officers and media outnumbered the protesters three-to-one, and the 25 or so protesters who did manage to block access to the tunnel did so for just a matter of minutes before police went about arresting a requisite handful. Admittedly, we're a tiny bit disappointed that we didn't get more action in our far western hood — but, then again, we also weren't quite prepared to deal with Jersey folk idling for any longer than usual.

Jack Jordan, the man accused of stalking Uma Thurman, has been found guilty on charges of stalking and aggravated harassment. He now faces up to a year in jail. The trial lasted a week and featured testimony from the actress as well as her parents and brother. Thurman told the court that the situation with Jordan was "like a nightmare."

In closing arguments, Jordan’s lawyer tried to paint a picture of a shy, eccentric man who had merely developed a crush on a movie star. “Think about your lives and what you have done in your lives in the name of love,” the defense attorney, George Vomvolakis, urged the jury. “Think about the stupid things you have done.” Meanwhile, lead prosecutor Jessica Taub tried to paint a more sinister portrait of Jordan’s behavior, which included showing up at the actress’ house and her movie set and sending a series of bizarre cards and e-mails. “He wanted to be with Uma Thurman, and he would not take no for an answer,” Taub said.

Jordan is an out-of-work lifeguard who was living in his car at the time of his arrest last year. However, last night the New York Post caught him sleeping on the street. —Noelle Hancock

Stalker or Harmless Eccentric? Jury Deliberates on Fan’s Uma Thurman Obsession [NYT]

Uma Stalking Trial: Fan Found Guilty [ABC]

According to Latina, the pop diva has already tied the knot with her beau Nick Cannon. A source "close to" the actor confirmed it to the magazine's Website.

The couple wed yesterday in a small ceremony on an island and it was "very impulsive," according to our source. The wedding was attended by a few close friends of the couple, including Da Brat.

Whaaaa? What "island" did they marry on? The island of Manhattan? The Post spotted Cannon buying her an engagement ring here in New York on Monday, and Mariah was in the city all weekend basking in the glow of the Empire State Building, which was pink in her honor. And didn't they just start dating this month?

Well, Perez Hilton has confirmed it, so it must be true. And who are we to judge Mariah Carey? She's had as many number ones as Elvis and nearly as many as the Beatles. We all know what that does to you…

Breaking Exclusive: Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Are Married! [Latina.com]

This photo was taken at the intersection of State Street and Nevins Street in Brooklyn less than an hour ago. The police vans you can see are gathered around the halfway house in Boerum Hill at that location, where someone (it's unknown exactly who) is threatening to jump off the roof of the building. In the lower portion of the photo, you can see the inflatable jump pillow, which we're not sure we've ever seen in use, but suddenly looks a lot less fun than it did in The Game. We'll keep you posted if we hear more.

Update: The netting you can see over the windows in this picture was apparently set up to prevent a man from jumping out of them (he wasn't on the roof after all). Reports an eye witness: "Nobody jumped. A small white guy was escorted out of the building and handcuffed." Segments of the fence around the halfway house were sliced off to accommodate the jump pad, and are still left in the street.

New York Ranger (and soon-to-be Vogue intern) Sean Avery was found unconscious and not breathing early this morning and rushed to the hospital, reports the Daily News. The hockey bad boy, who saw his team lose in a playoff match last night, was brought to St. Vincent's at about three in the morning. He was in a state of cardiac arrest. The hospital has confirmed that he is there but has declined to release further details. We'll keep you posted as we hear more.

Sources: Rangers star Sean Avery hospitalized [NYDN]
UPDATE: 1010 WINS is reporting that the team is calling his injury a "lacerated spleen."

Detectives Gescard F. Isnora, Michael Oliver, and Marc Cooper were declared innocent of all charges against them today by judge Arthur J. Cooperman. There was no jury in this trial, per the officers' choice. This was the verdict that Ray Kelly and police officials were concerned might cause unrest across the city, so expect upped police presence around town today. According to ABC in New York, Sean's ex-fiancée, Nicole Paultre-Bell, stormed out of the court upon the news. We'll tell you more when we hear reactions from Sean Bell's family, lawyers, and the officers themselves. Already, the Bell family has vowed to continue this battle further.

Earlier: The City and Al Sharpton Gear Up for Verdict in Bell Trial
Related: A Bad Night at Club Kalua [NYM]

Update: The takeaway from Judge Cooperman's verdict seems to be something he said while delivering it: "Carelessness is not a crime." Credibility issues were also at the heart of the not-guilty decision. Meanwhile, after the trial, Police Commissioner Ray Kelly was quick to say: "We don't anticipate any violence." When asked what he thought of the result, he replied, "it's inappropriate for me to comment on the verdict."
Update 2: Al Sharpton has led the Bell family and a large mass of people into the middle of Queens Boulevard, and they appear to have begun an impromptu march. They are chanting "Acquittal Means Fight Back," and they appear to be picking people up as they walk along.
Update 3: It appears that the family has hopped into cars belonging to Al Sharpton and left the area, without addressing the press or the crowd. Everyone else who had been marching appears to be dispersing.

A half-hour ago, a taxicab exploded in front of St. Patrick's on Fifth Avenue, where the Pope is scheduled to deliver Mass this weekend. WNBC reports that there is "a dark plume of smoke rising high above the church," and that a large crowd of onlookers has gathered. Right now it seems as though it was just a rogue combustion like last fall's 30 Rock explosion. We'll keep you posted if we hear more.

Cab Catches Fire Outside St. Patrick's Cathedral [WNBC]

If there is one reason above all to love Law & Order: SVU, it's that, like all the L&O properties, it's consistent. Richard Belzer will always come up with a snappy one-liner during the inspection-of-the-body scene ("She can forget about mid-terms"); Ice-T will always say something about "the street"; and if the deceased is a girl, Christopher Meloni is guaranteed to get all bent out of shape and tortured about his daughter. It's dependable, which we find very soothing. But today a jolt of terrible news shook us to our very core: Diane Neal, a.k.a. Casey Novak, SVU's Titian D.A. of five years, will be leaving the show. "Her final air date will be next month’s season finale," TV Guide is reporting. They add that Wolf & Co. are searching for an "up-and-coming" actress to take her place. We hope they at least plan to cast a tall, androgynous ballbuster so passionate about her work that she endangers her own career — if they vary from that formula, our world will seriously be rocked. Aside from a mealy quote from a spokesperson that "she is looking forward to new opportunities and will be missed," no explanation of Neal's departure is given. What could it mean? We don't know, but it's as good a chance as any to play the Law & Order sound!

Diane Neal Exits Law &Order: SVU [TV Guide]