Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and We Are Scientists joined New York Magazine on Wednesday for an office party a little more rocking than those uptight affairs we’ve been covering in recent weeks. While the company president got drunk and the intern repeated everything he’d overheard during his not-brief-enough tenure, at least there was a rock band to compensate for the awkwardness. Plus, everyone who came got a subscription to New York. This actually sounds way better than our holiday party. (Ahem.) Stay tuned for more New York by New York events in 2008.

Believe it or not, companies are still having holiday parties, even though you're like, so totally over the festive season. Luckily, you have us to attend them for you, so you don't even have to get up off your bedroom floor, where you've been sitting and weeping for the last three days trying to wrap presents and figure out what to re-gift from last year. Last night saw some big parties: The Hearst gala occupied the bottom floors of their massive Eighth Avenue Tower, and Elle and Elle Décor took over both floors of Socialista. We skipped those and opted for a nice blend of holiday high and low. After the jump, read our reviews of the down and dirty Daily News party at Columbus 72, and the cozy and cultured Clear party at Steve Brill's Upper East Side apartment.

This office-party report comes from our guest correspondent, Anderson Cooper. Okay, so he's not really a guest correspondent; he wrote about his company holiday party on his personal blog and we're going to re-post it. But wouldn't it be amazing if he was a roving reporter for us? We'd send him on special assignment all the time! We can think of a few things we'd like him to get to the bottom of. Ahem, anyway, here's what the Coop had to say about the 360 holiday bash this weekend:

As far as I know there were no terribly embarrassing incidents. You know the kind of thing, when, late at night, you decide you really, really have to tell your boss what you've always thought of him. No one seemed particularly sheepish this morning in the office, so unless some incriminating photos suddenly surface, it was a successful party. There was an after party that involved karaoke, and who knows what else, but I got sleepy and didn't attend. The truth is I've never understood the appeal of karaoke, and being asked to sing some song by Journey just seems like a nightmare to me.

Wait, wait, wait. Anderson, did you just knock Journey?? Don't make us reassign you from the 24-hour weather coverage of the heat wave inside our pants. What if they asked you to sing something by Heart? A little "Alone," perhaps? We can definitely see Anderson rocking out to Hanson's "MMMBop." Or at least something by Kylie Minogue.

Anderson's View [CNN]

Most companies are kind enough not to have their holiday parties on a Friday. After all, you have enough personal holiday parties to drag your ass to this weekend (we saw you all waiting in line at Trader Joe's for your half-dozen $4.99 bottles of Merlot). But what does Rupert Murdoch care about your piddling little plans? News Corp. was having their event on Friday, and all one billion of their employees damn well showed up. Their gargantuan party took over several ballrooms in the midtown Hilton, and of course, we duly waited in line (halfway down the block!) to get in, just because we knew you'd do it for us. We were not disappointed — it turned out to be the biggest private party we have ever attended in our lives. After the jump, find out what theme room caught Bill O'Reilly's fancy, and which video games made the News Corpsies shake their bones.

Last night saw loads of magazine parties: The blazered GQ staff boogied down at Passerby, Wenner Media rocked out at Madison in the meatpacking district, and W celebrated its continued existence at Death & Co. We didn’t go to any of those, because we were at New York's own fiesta at the Cub Room. Unfortunately, we can't tell you much about that, partly because we're not allowed to but mostly because we can't remember much — except that we were pleased to learn that our co-workers like to party. And that Jessica Coen will do the splits if you ask her nicely. But we can offer you a report from inside the CosmoGirl soirée, held at the decidedly un-girlie Rumours, a tinsel-decked, wood-paneled sports bar on Eighth Avenue in midtown.

Had we even tried to sneak into the Marc Jacobs party last night, we definitely wouldn't have been able to muster a costume elaborate and erotic enough to blend in. While Marc's own costume was only skanky metaphorically, pretty much everyone else flexed the boundaries of taste, sexiness, and the definition of the word "costume." The theme was Arabian Nights, and Marc went as "Camel Toe." His boyfriend, Jason Preston, went as Abu, the adorable little monkey from Aladdin. Click below to see a slideshow of some of the best chests, breasts, and eyeliner we've ever seen at a holiday party.

The Marc Jacobs Holiday Party

Did anybody watch Matt and Meredith play Guitar Hero on the Today show? Did it make you want to kill yourself? If so, you now know exactly how you will feel if you try to make it through your office holiday party without getting shitcanned. As your co-workers get increasingly merry and begin acting decreasingly pubescent, you have a choice: either get in there and do the Cabbage Patch or run home to your new Battlestar Galactica DVD set. Fortunately, you're only required to go to one company party. We, on the other hand, have been crashing as many as possible. Last night's events included the Details shindig at Bowery Bar, the Domino party in some editor's apartment, and the fabulous annual Marc Jacobs costume extravaganza. We didn't go to any of those, but we did sneak into the Barneys New York hoedown at Bar Martignetti and the sumptuous D.E. Shaw extravaganza at Cipriani. After the jump, who parties better: finance geeks or fashionistas?

The week of office holiday parties continues on, and we are fully into magazine territory. Last night saw fêtes for Allure at Socialista, Portfolio at Runway, and both Lucky and (maybe) Star at Pop Burger Midtown. We stopped by the last two, so you didn't have to. Though, really, shouldn't you be investing in your co-workers this holiday season? A little face time at the company bash might just make those quietly awkward office urinal moments a little more cheery for the rest of next year!

Lucky Magazine. We weren't sure what to expect when we went to midtown to crash the Lucky holiday party. For one, it was on the second floor at Pop Burger (yeah, that's right, it's a three-story club) and we weren't sure we'd get in. And for another, we weren't sure that sending a six-foot-three man to blend in with a bunch of tiny fashionistas was the best plan.

Right about now, the Wall Street Journal editorial team, tragically left out of News Corp.'s holiday bash at the Hilton on Friday, are sitting glumly in the twelfth-floor conference room, sipping "alcoholic beverages and softer fare" and engaging in forced merriment at their one and only holiday party. "I thought we were the crown jewel," moaned one staffer, who sent us this haiku summing up the festivities:

Make merry, they said.
Cake. Cookies. Juice. Soda cans.
But we ate at our desks.

The saddest invitation in the world is after the jump.

This is a big week for office holiday parties, and it kicked off last night with events for Curbed, Gothamist, and The New Yorker. Both Web parties took place downtown, both had open bars, but only one was kind enough to actually invite us — we stopped by both nonetheless. For the New Yorker party, a spy sent us a brief report to slake our endless thirst for weak specialty cocktails. After the jump, our continuing coverage of your most revealing moments, honest conversations, and miscalculated flirtations. For what is an office holiday party but the corporate equivalent of overhearing someone you know having sex?