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White Men With Money

5/15/08

11:30 AM

Dear Yahoo: You Suck. Love, Carl

Photo illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty
Images

Carl Icahn has written one of his poison-pen letters to Yahoo's chairman of the board, Roy Bostock, urging him to sell to Microsoft or else. While Bostock and his board were all busy "completely botching" the Microsoft deal, Icahn tells the chairman, he went and acquired a controlling stake in the company and ginned up a list of potential candidates for a replacement board, he says, among other niceties, and, well, it's safe to say that someone is going to be crying into his pillow tonight.

It is clear to me that the board of directors of Yahoo has acted irrationally and lost the faith of shareholders and Microsoft. It is quite obvious that Microsoft’s bid of $33 per share is a superior alternative to Yahoo’s prospects on a standalone basis. I am perplexed by the board’s actions. It is irresponsible to hide behind management’s more than overly optimistic financial forecasts. It is unconscionable that you have not allowed your shareholders to choose to accept an offer that represented a 72% premium over Yahoo’s closing price of $19.18 on the day before the initial Microsoft offer.

Of course, he doesn't really want to do all of those mean things, Icahn adds. It can totally be avoided! All Bostock has to do is to basically be his bitch. Now you have a nice day, Roy!

Icahn Says Yahoo ‘Completely Botched’ Microsoft Talks [NYT/DealBook]

More: carl ichan, roy bostock, yahoo

White Men With Money

5/ 2/08

10:00 AM

Despite Cablevision’s Higher Bid for ‘Newsday,’ Zell Still Prefers Murdoch

"Look, even if I drink this glass of water, Sam will keep talking!"Photo illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images

According to Newsday itself, Cablevision has officially put in its bid for $650 million to buy the struggling Long Island tabloid. As we've noted, that puts the Dolan family bid $70 million ahead of competitors Mort Zuckerman and Rupert Murdoch. But sources close to Tribune Company owner Sam Zell, who is doing the selling, say that he "still would like to do a deal with Murdoch, because they have a budding relationship." Cue the sound of a needle screeching off a record. "Rupert is going to have to put more money in," hastens the source, "which I think he will do." Um, so this was maybe a done deal before anybody even anticipated a handshake? We're beginning to understand why Murdoch's news outlets are defined by a kind of mass paranoia about world events. We'd suspect everything was a conspiracy theory, too, if we knew just how easy it was for one person to secretly decide the outcome of massive transactions before they are even on the table.

Rivals mull offers as Cablevision submits $650M bid for Newsday [Newsday]
Related: Cablevision Might Just Steal ‘Newsday’ From Murdoch's Iron Grasp
Rupert Murdoch Making a Bid for 'Newsday'?

More: cablevision, dolans, media, mort zuckerman, newsday, rupert murdoch, sam zell, tribune co.

White Men With Money

4/29/08

10:40 AM

Bloomberg to Solve Country's Problems the Old-fashioned Way: With Self-help Book

Photo: Getty Images

For people who thought that maybe Mayor Bloomberg would take time off to write a book after he finishes his second term, well, you're quite wrong. See, Hizzoner doesn't need to take time off to write a book — he can do it perfectly well in his spare time while he's running the city! See, he's already working on his new tome, Do the Hard Things First (and Other Bloomberg Rules for Business and Politics), and it will come out later this year. The perky politician, whose Bloomberg LP is worth roughly $13 billion, isn't receiving an advance and will donate the royalties to the World Trade Center Memorial Foundation. From the Journal:

"Over the course of both my private and public sector careers, I've learned a set of rules that I believe offer guidance that people of all professions will find useful," Mayor Bloomberg, 66 years old, wrote in a release. "In this book I've summed up these rules and my experience in how to follow them: from how to build a first-rate team, to create the conditions for innovation, and to know when to say 'yes' to your customers and when to say 'no.'"

Sounds great. We just hope there's a chapter on how to say "No" for months (when people ask you, say, about running for president) but get the point across that you really mean "Yes." Because we always wanted to know how he did that.

Bloomberg to Write Book of 'Rules' [WSJ]

More: books, mayor bloomberg, media, politics, publishing

White Men With Money

4/25/08

9:00 AM

John Thain Boosts Merrill's Hopes, Stock Prices

It's really the chin that makes it, huh?Photo-illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty
Images, Hulton Archive/Getty Images

The mere words of robo-hunk John Thain were enough to cause Merrill Lynch stock to climb 7.1 percent yesterday by the end of trading. The new CEO delivered his first address to shareholders and bolstered confidence by being pragmatic about the company's losses after the mortgage crisis. He remains a believer in "the strength in the business of Merrill Lynch, the strength in the brand of Merrill Lynch, and the strength of the culture," he explained. He also assuaged fears that he would try to spin off Merrill's brokerage from the bank, sell their near 50 percent stock in BlackRock, or sell their passive 20 percent ownership of Bloomberg. Another worry on shareholders' minds was that he might jump ship for a Cabinet position with John McCain (on whose finance committee he serves) if the Republican candidate wins the presidency. He told the assembled group that he plans to do none of those things. We, for one, believe him and believe in his heroic efforts to save his company — if only because we've always wanted to Photoshop his head on a vintage Superman's body. It just looks like it belongs, no?

Merrill's Thain Calls Criticism `20/20 Hindsight' [Bloomberg]

More: business, finance, john thain, merrill lynch, subprime crisis, wall street

White Men With Money

4/23/08

1:30 PM

Steve Schwarzman's Great Library Gift, Writ Small

The locations of the small engravings of Schwarzman's name that will be added to the library.Photos: Christina Hribar

When we learned that Steve Schwarzman's name would not be emblazoned on the architrave (bet you didn't think we knew that word) above the columns at the Public Library, we were relieved for the city of New York. It's wonderful that Schwarzman donated $100 million to the institution, but it will always be the "Public Library," that legendary place that was haunted by ghosts in Ghostbuster and where Jake Gyllenhaal fled when the world ended in The Day After Tomorrow. The "Schwarzman Library" wouldn't sound public at all — it would sound exclusive and rich (and also, let's face it, bald). Instead, the Times reports that the name of the Blackstone Group CEO will be subtly added in five places, as indicated above. "If not shouted," the paper observes, the name was "quietly yet firmly spoken to the world." It will be written in a special old-timey font in letters under three inches high. We'd imagine Schwarzman was bummed that his surname will not join the names Astor, Lenox and Tilden that are written on the attic of the façade (again with the terms!) — except that part of the deal was that no other name will ever again be emblazoned on the building. Schwarzman can rest easy that for the foreseeable future, as we're just he has long dreamed, his name, and only his, will be grouped with those of the great philanthropic shapers on New York.

After Big Gift, a New Name for the Library [NYT]

More: business, finance, new york public library, philanthropy, rich people, stephen schwarzman, steve schwarzman

White Men With Money

4/21/08

10:40 AM

Let Them Eat Louis Vuitton

Photo: Nytimes

Think of the children! By which we mean all of the poor business students who were expecting to have internships at Bear Stearns this summer but since the firm's collapse in March have been left out in the cold, gnawing on the handles of their Louis Vuitton bags in lieu of sustenance. It's soooooo sad.

More: bear stearns

White Men With Money

4/17/08

9:00 AM

Merrill Lynch CEO Addresses Internet Riffraff in Conference Call

Photo: Getty Images

Merrill Lynch announced this morning that it lost $1.96 billion in the first quarter and plans to cut 4,000 jobs. But everything's going to be fine!, CEO John Thain said on the conference call this morning. Because unlike some people (cough, Bear Stearns, cough), the firm has enough capital to meet its obligations and isn't going to go hit up Dubai or wherever for lucre. So, yeah. Take that, Internet chatterboxes! Yeah, he's talking to you. “For those of you who like to blog, we do not have any plans to raise any additional capital,” Mr. Thain said on the conference call. Still, DealBook can't resist pointing out that Bear Stearns reported a $110 million profit for its first quarter, even as it is being acquired by JPMorgan. Just saying!

More: business, finance, john thain, merrill lynch, subprime

White Men With Money

4/16/08

4:00 PM

Jack Welch Slams GE Successor With Vile Insult!

Photo: Getty Images

So Jack Welch co-hosted CNBC's Squawk Box this morning, and at first we were like, snooze. But then the Times DealBook piqued our interest by reporting that the former GE chief used a "mild anatomical vulgarity" to refer to his successor, Jeff Immelt. Nice, we said to ourselves, because we have the sense of humor of a 13-year-old boy. What did he call him that the Times couldn't say? A prick? A boob? A cock? A knob-gobbler? A twatermelon? Sadly, no.

More: jack welch

White Men With Money

4/16/08

9:30 AM

Hedge-Fund Billionaires Are Just So Gauche, Right?

Photo: Patrick McMullan, Getty Images, Reuters

Alpha magazine has released a list of top hedge-fund moneymakers, and as it turns out, last year, as the country stood on the brink of a recession, a few people made a fairly obscene amount of money. In fact, Alpha Notes, last year "may well prove to be the greatest display of individual wealth creation in any year in the modern history of finance." Hot. Among the lucky ones are New Yorkers John Paulson, who made $3.7 billion betting against subprime. George Soros raked in $2.9 billion, and Stevie Cohen could buy a whole new gaggle of Damian Hirsts with his $900 million.

As is her wont, the Gray Lady appears faintly repulsed by these short, fat men and their vulgar accumulation of uninherited wealth, and immediately finds several experts who are happy to remind these upstart Gatsbys of exactly what they are: “To some degree it’s a very gigantic version of Las Vegas,” one economist says evocatively of the hedge-fund market, like there's something so flashy and vulgar and seedy and borderline illegal about it, you know? Except it's actually not illegal. “There is nothing wrong with it,” William H. Gross, the chief investment officer of the bond fund Pimco, tells the Times. “But it’s ugly.” The 'Times' sentiments exactly! The inclusion of Philip Falcone of Harbinger partners ($1.7 million), who recently bought a large stake in the Times and followed it up by purchasing Bob Guccione's monstrosity of a mansion, must have especially rankled the paper. Best remind him who's boss! “Like at the end of the Gilded Age and the Roaring Twenties, we are going the other way,” Gross tells the Times helpfully. “We are clearly in a period of excess, and we have to swing back to the middle or the center cannot hold."

Ooh! Who else is gilded and roaring? The list of top ten earners follows.

More: the new york times

White Men With Money

4/15/08

1:42 PM

Should Bear CEO Alan Schwartz Join the Other Team?

Photo illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images, iStockphoto

It sounds like former Bear Stearns CEO Alan D. Schwartz is facing a very tough decision! Jamie Dimon, the overlord of JPMorgan, which, as you may recall, recently purchased Bear for a few lumps of metal and a pile of arrowheads, has reportedly offered him a nonexecutive, deal-making job and the title of vice-chairman. If he takes it, he would be part of a crackerjack team of Wall Street winners, and he'll be able to keep his three houses! But he may losing the respect and loyalty of the scrappy Bear Stearns team and face a power struggle with JPMorgan's incumbent deal-maker Jimmy Lee. As we see it, Schwartz's problem almost exactly mirrors the struggles of Torrance Shipman, the head cheerleader in the seminal movie Bring It On. Should she proceed with using ill-gotten cheers that she knows will take her to the national championships? Or should she opt for the harder and ultimately more rewarding route of creating something out of nothing? The answer, Mr. Schwartz, can be found at your local Blockbuster.

Dimon Says May the Schwartz Be With Us [NYP]

More: bear stearns, bring it on, business, finance, kirsten dunst, the answers to all of life's questions can be found in teen movies, torrance shipman