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Grover Norquist Goes to Burning Man

It’s a hell-hot Friday afternoon, and conservative anti-tax activist Grover Norquist and I are walking down a dusty footpath at Burning Man, the annual New Age festival held in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert. As we stroll past rows of parked RVs on Gold Street, we pass a large tent that advertises “Free Taint Washes." A man approaches us from inside, carrying a jug of water with a misting attachment.

“Would you like a spray?” the man asks.

“Not today,” Norquist says.

The man smiles. “Well, would you like a taint wash?”

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What’s the Matter With Connecticut?

A funny-sad back-and-forth appeared in the pages of the Hartford Courant last month.

It started when one Christopher Edge wrote into the letters section to say he had had it and was moving out in a tirade entitled “Farewell, Connecticut.” More positive residents then chimed in with their support for the Nutmeg State. “Running away is not the solution,” chided one Patricia Karwoski.

But what problems could Edge possibly be trying to duck by bailing? Who would run away from Connecticut in the first place? It seems a state not afflicted, a lovely, hilly green hamlet nestled between Boston and New York. It has a low crime rate. It has stellar schools. It has the highest per-capita income of the 50 states. It’s home to Martha Stewart and America’s best pizza, for God’s sake.

Edge complained primarily about the state’s political incompetency and its “freeloaders.” But there’s a much deeper malaise afflicting Connecticut and its angry letter-writers. While there is great wealth, there is stagnant growth. Along with high incomes has come increasing poverty. Amid those million-dollar mansions, the middle class has eroded.

In short, Connecticut has somehow managed to become both the richest and worst economy in America. And what’s worse, America has started to look more and more like Connecticut.

Read More  »

Chris Christie Caused Another Traffic Problem

"A man who claimed a member of Gov. Chris Christie's motorcade cut him off got angry enough to follow the car until the drivers hashed it out in the parking lot of the Seaside Park Police Department," the Star-Ledger reports. The aforementioned motorcade member was not Christie himself, but a state trooper tailing the governor's SUV on the way to his summer home on the Jersey Shore. The two parties reportedly talked it out and no charges were filed, just like with the other thing.

The de Blasios Did Their Goofy Family Dance Again

It's been a while since we've seen the "The Smackdown," a synchronized dance the de Blasios busted out more than a couple times while Bill was running for mayor last year. For the uninitiated: The Smackdown is an unusual routine that involves hand-waving, hand-licking, pavement-slapping, and leaping high into the air. While the dance's origins are unclear, the sheer goofiness of it is something that some people might be tempted to leave behind on the campaign trail. Not the de Blasios! As events such as the Mermaid Parade have taught us, these people are deeply committed to family fun, so we weren't too surprised to see Bill, Chirlane, Chiara, and Dante bring back The Smackdown at Monday's West Indian Day Parade.

There is video. »

Rick Perry Says He Didn't Mean to Tweet About How His Political Enemy Is 'the Most Drunk Democrat in Texas'

While most Americans were out enjoying the long weekend, Rick Perry, or some person with access to Rick Perry's personal Twitter account, was stewing over his recent felony indictment. Perry's two abuse of power charges are the result of a showdown with Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmburg, a Democrat who was caught driving drunk last year. After Lehmburg's arrest, Perry threatened to slash her office's budget unless she gave her up job. Lehmburg refused to resign, so Perry withheld the money — and that's why we now have a glasses-free mugshot of the Texas governor. It's also why we now have the especially dumb beer ad parody that Perry tweeted in the middle of Sunday night.

"I don't always drive drunk at 3X the legal blood limit..." »

Ted Cruz Just Lost the Bronx

If Ted Cruz had any supporters in the Bronx, he has certainly lost them now. During a Saturday speech at something called the Americans for Prosperity's Defending the American Dream Summit, Cruz used a dig at the borough to criticize New York Senator Chuck Schumer's position on immigration reform. "Now, I understand that Manhattan is very concerned with their security with the Bronx, but it's a little bit different on 2,000 miles of the Rio Grande," said the Texas tea partier, whose knowledge of the area is probably entirely based on a single late-night viewing of Fort Apache, the Bronx.

"Grow up." »

Fancy Upper West Side Building Won't Let Dogs Put Their Sweet Little Paws on the Floor of the Lobby

According to the New York Post, the management of 62nd Street's Hawthorn Park requires dog owners to carry their pets through the 339-unit building's lobby, lest they "urinate or pass stool" or otherwise sully the "gleaming white marble" floor. Dogs also aren't allowed in Hawthorn Park's regular elevators, and must instead use the service elevators like commoners. Maybe the canine residents should just make like they're in Jersey and set the place on fire.

Libyan Militants Really Enjoying the Pool at the American Embassy in Tripoli

Back in July, the United States embassy in Tripoli was evacuated due to concerns about the escalating violence in Libya. On Sunday, it was reported that Libyan militiamen had broken into a residential compound previously occupied by the now absent American diplomats. While the embassy itself, located some distance away, is said to be secure and under the protection of Libyan guards, it seems that the trespassers are really making themselves at home in their newly acquired living quarters. In fact, they're having a pool party!

Looks fun. »



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