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Portland Teen Who Peed in Drinking-Water Reservoir Has a Point

The world's most famous public urinator, this week, is 18-year-old Dallas Swonger of Portland, Oregon, who was watched in security footage by nearly 200,000 people on the official pdxwater YouTube channel. In addition to the public humiliation and police citation, Swonger is being blamed for the city having to dump 38 million gallons of water. He swears it's not necessary.

"I didn't piss in the fucking water," Swonger said in a star-making interview with Vocativ. "I leaned up against the wall and pissed on it. Right there on the wall, dude. I don't know else how to describe it."

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The White House Fox Is a Star

Reports first surfaced that the "elusive creature" was picking through Michelle Obama's garden during the government shutdown, but months later, a fox is still outsmarting the Secret Service and White House groundskeepers. Today, it made the front page of The Wall Street Journal — signature stipple portrait and all — with tales of its covert snacking, peeing, and setting off alarms. We're rooting, as all Americans should, for the fox, and maybe for a potential Pixar movie.

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American Politics: Not Just for White People

Last weekend, I appeared on Melissa Harris-Perry’s weekend MSNBC show to discuss my cover story on racial politics. It was … not quite what I expected. The segment lasted 12 and a half minutes, and Harris-Perry spent almost half that time on an extended soliloquy about how I am wrong, only allowing me to join the discussion about my story for the second half.

There was also a panel following that segment, consisting of four panelists who agree with Harris-Perry and none who agree with me. I declined the invitation to stay for that part.

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Bronx Man Who Claims He Fell Into a Sinkhole Probably Lying

After the ground suddenly opened up in the middle of a Bronx street on Monday, leaving a five-foot-deep sinkhole, paramedics arrived to find a young man inside, screaming, "My leg! My leg!" The guy, who was taken to the hospital but not actually treated, said he'd been playing football and just happened to fall in (at the right time to sue somebody or collect insurance). DNAinfo reports otherwise:

“He was sitting on a porch with some other guys and they started horsing around,” a young woman told “On The Inside.”

“He started rolling around next to the hole and they were actually videoing it with his iPad.”

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Gillette’s New Razor Is Everything That’s Wrong With American Innovation

The Wall Street Journal obtained the marketing materials for Gillette's new razor, the ProGlide FlexBall. It's a men's razor that does what every other men's razor since time immemorial has done – removes hair from your face – but with "a swiveling ball-hinge" that the company says will make it easier to get a clean shave. It will retail for $11.49 and $12.59, depending on whether you want the battery-powered version or not, and Gillette is planning to sell $188 million worth of the things in the next year alone.

I won't mince words: ProGlide FlexBall is a bad idea. A really bad idea. In fact, the razor represents everything terrible about America's innovation economy.

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Patrick Stewart Wants to Ban Strollers in Park Slope

Sir Patrick Stewart, Brooklyn's coolest knight, has been doing what he can to fit in as a New Yorker, namely enjoying the sunsets over South Slope and folding his pizza like a true native (although his subway etiquette still leaves something to be desired). But one thing sets Stewart and his wife apart in his Brooklyn neighborhood, and he's had enough of it.

"I think we are probably the only residents of Park Slope who don't have a stroller," said Stewart to Intelligencer on Thursday, at IWC's For the Love of Cinema event. "I'm actually beginning a campaign — well, I actually began it with Mayor Bloomberg — about banning strollers."

It's no use trying to blend in with the baby-pushers, either. "It wouldn't work. Look at me," he said. "We do eat a lot of kale, but we don't have a stroller."

Man Rescued From Sunken South Korean Ferry Hangs Himself; Captain Faces Arrest

The tragedy in Mokpo, South Korea, where a ferry carrying 475 people, including more than 300 high-school students, capsized on Wednesday, is ongoing. While searchers try to reach the nearly 300 people still missing, a vice-principal who escaped is dead in an apparent suicide, found hanging from a tree near the makeshift camp for the families of victims. Kang Min Kyu, 52, was one of the first people pulled from the ship after what was reportedly a botched evacuation and rescue

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Remember Chelsea Clinton’s White House Childhood?

Yesterday, former (and maybe future) first daughter Chelsea Clinton announced that she and her husband, Marc Mezvinsky, are expecting, and so began a nationwide gestation period for a royal-baby equivalent to call our own. “I just hope that I will be as good a mom to my child, and hopefully children, as my mom was to me,” Chelsea said at the No Ceilings women’s forum at the Lower East Side Girls Club in New York after she announced the news. In honor of the occasion — and, perhaps, to guess what her future baby might look like? — click through the slideshow for a look back at Clinton’s own White House childhood, from tours of South Asia and Tanzanian safaris to practicing for The Nutcracker. 



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