Comptroller, Comptrol Thyself

20061024heds.jpg

• The State Ethics Commission is taking Alan Hevesi behind the shed with a harshly worded, 26-page report on all that Albany wife-chaffeurin'. It says Hevesi "knowingly and intentionally" broke the law and tried to cover it up. Good enough for GovernorAttorney General Eliot Spitzer, who's starting his own investigation of his ticket-mate. [NYP]
• Get ready to learn as much about sarcoidosis and granulomas as you once did about hanging chads. That's because government agencies still can't settle on an official relationship between toxic 9/11 dust and lung disease, and things are about to get very ugly and very arcane. [NYT]
• Move along, folks, nothing to see here: The Port Authority bus terminal is back to normal after a brief shutdown yesterday. A man boarded a Greyhound with one of those enduring fashion staples, a Suspicious Bag; he then refused to get off, forcing cops and bomb squads to flood the area all the way to Madam Tussauds. [WNBC]
• As a perp, Raffin Vellon doesn't seem to lack for motive: According to the police, he bludgeoned his ex and her son to death, then murdered a super's assistant, who happened to be Dominican, out of "ethnic hatred." amNew York goes strikingly Post-ish in its coverage, coining the phrase "Bronx Barbell Murders." [amNY]
• And transgendered New Yorkers can now use any restroom they want, says the MTA after settling a lawsuit with a snubbed Chelsea woman. Only in New York, kids. [Newsday]