Lloyd Grove Gives to Panhandlers, Won't Settle for Less Than 600 Thread Count

Lloyd Grove
Photo: Patrick McMullan

Name: Lloyd Grove

Age: None of your damned business

Job: Unemployed gossip columnist

Neighborhood: Upper West Side

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Geraldo Rivera, who fits all of the above categories.

What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
The grilled calamari at Gennaro, washed down with a bottle of Sangiovese.

What's the one-sentence explanation of what you actually do all day in your job?
Ruining lives and destroying reputations when not hawking products and creating temporary stars.

Where do you get your coffee?
Out of a Maxwell House can.

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
The first act of Tarzan — walked out at intermission.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
Only the cute ones.

What's your drink?
Vodka and tonic. Any brand will do.

How often do you prepare your own meals?
Not counting microwaved oatmeal for breakfast, once every six and a half weeks.

What's your favorite medication?
Vodka and tonic. Any brand will do.

What's hanging above your sofa?
A framed poster for the Talking Heads movie Stop Making Sense.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
Over $20.

When's bedtime?
2 a.m.

Brunch: pro or con?
Pro, but no earlier than 4 p.m.

What's your thread count?
600.

What do you hate most about living in New York?
The incessant intrusion by media-obsessed bloggers.

What's your brand of jeans?
J.Crew relaxed-fit khakis.

When was the last time you drove a car?
Two weeks ago, up the Jersey Turnpike from the Farm Aid concert.

Who should be the next president?
Mike Bloomberg.

Times, Post, or Daily News?
The Daily News, of course.

Yankees or Mets?
Mets.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
Claiming Mike Bloomberg should be the next president.